“... when you catch yourself secretly hating being a parent , it ’ s not actually being a parent that you hate . It ’ s Demand Parenting you hate ..”
– STACEY MARTINO
That ’ s how I know that when you catch yourself secretly hating being a parent , it ’ s not actually being a parent that you hate . It ’ s Demand Parenting you hate , and here ’ s why : Because any form of Demand Relationship flat-out sucks !
It sucks to be in a relationship where you feel controlled , and like you ’ re doing everything for a partner who doesn ’ t appreciate it and doesn ’ t reciprocate .
It also sucks to be in a relationship where you can ’ t “ get your partner ” to do what you need them to do , because if they won ’ t , you think you can ’ t ever be happy as long as you ’ re in relationship with them .
Demand Parenting works the same way . When you can ’ t get your kids to do what you need them to do – or when you let your kids run the household because you sure aren ’ t going to be a controller parent like you grew up with – it sucks !
Demand Parenting is the problem , not your parenting skills , not being a parent , and not your kids .
I really want you to hear me on this , because when you embrace that Demand Parenting is what you actually hate , and commit to stopping it , you get to be free !
HOW TO STOP THE MISERY OF DEMAND PARENTING
At this point you ’ re probably wondering how to stop doing Demand Parenting .
I wish I could give you a “ neat trick ” or “ secret hack ” to make it stop , but the truth is , it ’ s not that simple .
Demand Parenting is a society-wide problem , just like Demand Relationship is a society-wide problem . It ’ s been hardwired into us over generations , and even people who understand what it is often slip into it without even realizing it .
What I can give you , however , are a few steps to get you started .
STEP 1 : Forgive yourself if you ’ ve ever secretly hated being a parent .
You ’ re not a bad person , or a bad parent , for feeling that way . You didn ’ t even know what Demand Parenting was , much less learn how to make it stop . Beating yourself up over something you never learned because you didn ’ t know it existed is like beating yourself up for not speaking a certain foreign language . You didn ’ t know what you didn ’ t know !