“ We can ’ t solve parenting issues by sweeping them under the rug and pretending they don ’ t exist .”
– STACEY MARTINO
RELATIONSHIPS
Yep , I said it !
This topic usually ruffles some feathers , but I ’ m okay with that . We can ’ t solve issues by sweeping them under the rug and pretending they don ’ t exist . Issues are only solved when we openly discuss them .
So , let ’ s discuss this !
Let me start by saying I know how much you love your kids and you want what ’ s best for them . My husband , Paul and I , feel the same way about our kids .
But if you ’ re a parent , you also know what any parent knows : That being a parent is hard . Sometimes it ’ s downright miserable !
When parents find themselves caught in those “ misery of parenting ” moments , many believe , deep down in a place they ’ d never share , that it ’ s because they hate being a parent , or hate their kids , or both .
If you ’ ve ever felt that way , what if I told you it wasn ’ t actually your kids or being a parent that you sometimes secretly hate ?
What if I told you it was something else … something you don ’ t even know you ’ re doing , because everyone does it , and everyone believes it ’ s what you have to do ?
THE REAL REASON PARENTING IS HARD
Paul and I teach our students about a relationship epidemic called Demand Relationship . It ’ s where you require other people to change or do what you want , so you can be happy and more comfortable .
There are two roles in Demand Relationship : The power player and the non-power player .
The power player uses control to get their way , while the non-power player gives in and tries to please the power player , hoping that by doing so , they ’ ll get their way next time .
Demand Relationship only works if one party is not free to leave , which has been the case for generations .
If one or both parties are free to leave the relationship – which is the case in most of today ’ s relationships – Demand Relationship falls apart .
Demand Parenting is a form of Demand Relationship , and most parents practice Demand Parenting without even realizing it .
You were most likely raised in a Demand Parenting environment , and you hated it as a kid . Now you ’ re trying to use it with your kids , and you hate it as a parent !
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