But the difference between us translates to never knowing why or how someone is going to react or handle any given situation . Even those people that you think you know really well can be a wild card .
AND …. spoiler alert !
It ’ s never about how you look , what you said or who you are . It is always about the other person ’ s lens through which they experience the world , compounded by their own projections . It ’ s not you , it ’ s me … well , it really is !
Every human has a history of trauma that swirls together creating their unique recipe of perception and reaction . You can ’ t anticipate exactly how someone is going to process any experience , in any given moment . You can only be as clear as possible in your communication and exhibit empathy and kindness .
The underlying theory here is rubber and glue and in the projection of most interactions , it is totally true . A few days ago , I was super grumpy and of course the people closest to me get to see that up close and personal . So , my husband asked me what he had done to upset me . But honestly , it wasn ’ t him . ( He clearly needs to read my work more closely .) It was actually a feeling I had of insecurity stemming from the deep ancestral healing I have endeavored recently . All of the traumas I have been healing culminated in deep fear and insecurity working its way to the surface leaving me in a not so favorable mood .
This phenomenon happens far more than we are aware of . When someone says something to you ( anything , really ) it can trigger a memory that you aren ’ t aware of or activate a program that is not aligned with the life you are living , and it can be deeply disconcerting . Most humans don ’ t have conscious control over these reactions and projections . This is where people lash out at others , express aggressive behaviors , or any number of trauma responses . As the outsider seeing this behavior , it seems that our first thought is that we caused this . Two things are critical here : 1 ) It ’ s never about the interaction you just had , alone ; and 2 ) The power to create , cultivate and manage reactions never lies outside the person who is expressing the reaction .
I always remind my clients that I don ’ t keep their baggage . I already have plenty of my own . And so do you , so let others keep their emotions and triggers , while you maintain the integrity of clear and kind communication . This practice will help limit the amount of drama and strife to what your soul has contracted to experience in this lifetime . You can also stop and check in with yourself when you aren ’ t sure if it ’ s yours or someone else ’ s . If you have a hard time hearing the answer to this question , keep a pendulum available and check in with that .
As you go about your day in integrity , allow in the idea that it ’ s not personal , it ’ s always about the other person ’ s inner stuff . Grant others the compassion they need , in every interaction you have throughout the day . It will come back to you exponentially !
JAMI HEARN - Jami is an Intuitive Oracle and Spiritual Teacher , who is passionate about working with high-achieving , spiritual women , to curate the life of their dreams through accessing the Divine Feminine and inner sovereign power that is her birthright . Through her coaching , readings and retreats , Jami empowers women to release self-judgment , tap into true clarity of path and purpose and reconnect to sacred wisdom , so they can consciously create the life they are truly worthy of .