herbs , walks in nature , meditation , and all the beneficial tools which comprise their craft . They know these things . But there is a very human element in the therapeutic relationship which is relevant to any discussion about kindness . Consider these stories :
• Jason worked as massage therapist in a busy practice . He was very experienced and had many return customers . He prided himself on his therapeutic technique . One of his clients reported that a referring doctor had said that he was ‘ chatty ’ and might need to be reminded to keep quiet when giving a treatment . Jason felt unfairly criticised and annoyed and had to contain his feelings during the treatment .
• Ananya , a naturopath , had a client come to her for anxiety and sleeplessness . The client related that she was very stressed because she was having a relationship with a married man who refused to leave his wife and children . The client complained about the unfairness of the situation and how it was causing her insomnia . Ananya ’ s beliefs went against marital infidelity . She did not feel sympathetic to the woman , who talked a great deal about the injustice of her situation .
• Diane , a herbalist , saw Betsy , a trans woman , in her practice , seeking help with rosacea . Betsy spoke at length about the challenges she faced and how some people did not want her to use the women ’ s facilities in her workplace . Could Diane help with the rosacea , which she felt was aggravated by her stressors , but Diane felt conflicted in the consultation as she was uncomfortable with the concept of gender fluidity .
• Ben , a myotherapist , had a repeat client who never stopped talking . The steam of chatter exhausted Ben who began to resent the client , who refused to be referred , saying they only trusted Ben . His heart would sink when they came to clinic .
• Julie , a natural fertility specialist , had a client who brought her two-year-old child to the sessions . The child would roam around the office , ignore all toys and guidance from their mother , and play with any object they could reach , whine and demand attention . The mother could / would not stop the child . This happened every session , despite Julie ’ s suggestions the client come alone . She found it challenging to keep focus and to not judge the woman ’ s parenting style .
KINDNESS LIES AT THE HEART OF ALL GOOD PRACTICE . IT CAN AND WILL GET TESTED AND YET , WITHOUT IT , THE WORK RUNS THE RISK OF BECOMING MECHANICAL AND DEHUMANISED .
A salient feature of complementary medicine practice is the holistic approach , and this means a willingness to look further than presenting symptoms and engage with subtler levels of healing . It is important and it ’ s complicated . There ’ s only so far that physical and mental resolutions will support you when faced with the everyday messiness of human life . Life is messy . People are messy . They can be demanding , awful , rude , and uncooperative . Especially if they are feeling vulnerable ad confronted by a physical failing .
It is completely reasonable to acknowledge that you will not necessarily like everybody ; there are days when you may not feel well disposed toward humanity and your ability to be kind is stretched . As naturopath Dr Leah Hechtman puts it , we constantly work with the complexity of maintaining professional integrity , whilst honouring individual humanity . In the end , however , the only part of any relationship , professional and personal , that you have any faint control over is , of course , yourself . So , when faced with challenging clients and thinking about the need to keep kindness as central to professional practice , the place to start is with yourself . This means , know your strengths , accept your limits , learn to say no and of course , know when and how to give , or to step back . Remember , kindness is muscular . It ’ s not about being ‘ nice ’ to everybody . It can mean direct and honest conversations which may be painful . It is about believing in people and yourself , understanding deeply what trust means and how it is essential for a caring , collaborative relationship which enables healing . To work with kindness a practitioner needs to understand authority and compassion and have these elements integrated into their skillset . This is central to the art of holism .
A way to help get kindness embedded into practice is to call on your friends and colleagues . At your next conference or get together , ask them what they do to keep the faith and maintain kindness . Draw on them to uplift you and help shift any stray thinking away from a deficit approach . Ask them how they maintain their energy and commitment . Such conversations are best framed by remembering to look up , not down and shift the focus onto possibilities rather than ‘ war stories ’. Your colleagues will be your mainstay in this as they are navigating similar ground .
Embedding kindness in practice is vital in a world drenched in out-of-control , rabid social media , and alarming news . We need good strategies to enhance our compassion to our clients and to ourselves . Kindness is power . Use it wisely for the benefit of yourself and this will flow through into your practice .
REFERENCES Sontag S , Broun HH . Illness as metaphor . New York : Farrar , Straus and Giroux ; 1978 .
Grant A , Pittaway S . ( Eds ). Enacting a Pedagogy of Kindness : A Guide for Practitioners in Higher Education . Routledge ; 2024
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