opinion, nor he for his.”
“But will you go to the
mountain when it’s raining?” I
asked. “If you did that, you might
see what I’m talking about.”
“Please don’t try to indoctrinate me,” she said, drawing herself up to her full height.
“It will not work. I don’t have time
for your dogma.”
I was somewhat despondent as I left the inn. I decided to seek out for a more
scholarly opinion. I paid a visit
to the respected alienist, Doctor Holophrase. As I spoke, he
listened with growing excitement. He was a short man composed of interlocked circles
with round glasses and a large,
drooping mustache.
“You’ve hit upon something that has been subject of
a great deal of study lately,”
Doctor Holophrase told me,
absently chewing his moustache. “A great deal indeed.
Why, I myself have written several papers on this very topic.”
I was relieved. “So you’ve
been to the mountain while it
was raining,” I exclaimed, “that’s
wonderful!”
Doctor
Holophrase
chuckled and shook his head.
“My, my, you are quite a character,” his smile was warm and
indulgent. “I know the books
say that these men went to the
mountain while it was raining
and saw water flowing down-
hill, but we mustn’t take it literally. That would be madness!
The “mountain” isn’t a mountain, the “rain” isn’t rain, and
what is meant by the assertion
that water flows downhill is really anybody’s guess. No,” he
said, pausing for a moment to
remove a small hair from between his teeth, “I believe that
the mountain symbolizes the
stillness of the womb. The rain
symbolizes the hardship of life.
And the idea that water flows
downhill is an allegory for the
journey from unhappiness to
happiness. One does not “go
to the mountain while it is raining,” one learns to see one’s
own life as an epic journey.
Look at the great myths! Gilgamesh fought against many
foes only to be killed by a poisonous serpent. This can be a
great comfort to the man who
is afraid of his supervisor, or the
woman who cannot confront
the roommate that is stealing
from her. Those are the monsters
they face in their
lives. The heroes of the great
stories did not win all of their
battles, how can my poor patients be expected to win
theirs? This makes my patients
very happy, to realize that they
are no worse than the mightiest kings of legend. The Epic
of Gilgamesh, the heroic tales
of Norse mythology, the loves
and battles of the Greek Gods,
the sublime symbolism of the
08
many Hindu idols, these are all
different ways of saying that
one sees water flowing downhill if one goes to the mountain
while it’s raining.”
“What rot!” I heard a
voice from outside the office
exclaim. “Who are you brainwashing now, Holophrase?” the
speaker stepped into the office. This ejaculation proceeded from a slender man who was
all right angles et que ad eosanNum que velit and pinstripes.
“I am Doctor Interarticular,” he
dam ipsam simolore a differsaid, “and I have quiteque venet
ent view.” istionse autendi gnihit
quatati
hicientem. Nectem videlestiall
“Let’s hear it,” I was voears.
lores eum volor sit officientur,
“It is not enough to read
corepel lumqui berum qui aliabout these symbols,” Doctor
Interarticular explained, “One
bus, volorest, suntempe sequas
must act!”
suntint. course!” I agreed, as
“Of
Doctor Holophrase clucked his
tongue and shook his head.
“So you’ve been to the mountain while it was raining and
Gendi in por renis quae
seen water flow downhill?” nonse
verum endandi gendant est, sum
“My dear boy,” it was Doctor Interarticular’s turn to don
acil ipsus aceperum ne pore alithe indulgent smile,“Haven’t we
ae In one way or another?”
all? maxim quidebiscit latempo re rovit quid mos doluptatet maio.
“Well, no actually, what
I’ve beendel ipiet quas quatemos
Volupti finding-“ I began, but
the excited ea sus. cut me off
del et intia alienist
abruptly.
“We all must, in some way
or other, actraeribus nim velique
Pudantium out the drama of
going to dolupid ma dolut faccat
volupta the mountain while it’s
raining and seeing water flow
fugitin enis que suntiis eseradownhill. We do not do this by
looking to backward-minded
myths and legends,”
good titles
“Yes we do,” Doctor Holophrase said.
“No we don’t. Don’t interrupt,” Doctor Interarticular
chastised him. “We must become the hero of our OWN
drama. We must learn to see
every obstacle we face as
going to the mountain while it’s
raining and seeing water flow
downhill. We don’t need all the
old symbols, just this one new
symbol. That way, we can
tessit,from all the sexism,sa