ASMSG Scifi Fantasy Paranormal Emagazine April 2015 | Page 17

Steven Ramirez
Original Source: http://stevenramirez.com/gilligans-zombie-island/
So, I’ve been thinking about that old
TV show, Gilligan’s Island, don’t ask me
why. Writers do that sometimes.
Anything to occupy our minds so we
don’t have to sit down and actually
write. Anyway, I’ve been thinking it’s
time for a reboot. Only now, instead of
concentrating on a small band of
survivors simply stuck on an island with
no way to escape—never mind that
you’ve got a Professor who supposedly
can invent anything out of coconuts and
vines, but cannot seem to fix the friggin’
SS Minnow …
Getting back to my idea. I’ve decided it
would be cool if you added zombies. So
now, these guys are stuck there. But
instead of being undone by their own
petty fighting and incompetence (mostly
on the part of Gilligan himself), they
have to fend off the skin-crawling,

slavering advances of the undead.
Wouldn’t that make for a great show?
Of course, it would.
First off, though, the eternal question—
namely, who really would survive in a
zombie apocalypse? I can tell you right
now, the Howells are out. What, Mrs.
Howell is going to hit some dead sailor
dripping with gore with her purse? The
old man is going to break out a 9 iron
and hit the rotting thing in the face?
And by the way, why did those two
even pack all that stuff for a one-day
trip?
The Professor is a given. He is pretty
smart, though naïve. And what about
Skipper? Sure. Why? Because, in the
words of Napoleon Dynamite, he has
skills. Same goes for Mary Ann. I mean,
come on, she grew up on a farm. She

knows how to grow food, cook and
keep livestock. Maybe she should could
capture a few wild boars and raise them
for meat.
Now, Ginger. Yes, she’s beautiful. But
in a zombie apocalypse, beauty will not
help, my friend. Not unless you plan on
seducing the zombie. So she’s out. And
here’s my thought about her character.
I think in this reboot that I am already
casting, you need to replace her
character with a slacker played by
Aubrey Plaza. Can you imagine it?
Every time a zombie takes a hunk out
of someone, she’s off mak