Is Kissing a Talent or Skill?
Blakely Bennett » Blog
I’ve written a blog about kissing in the past and once
again I feel inspired by the topic. A guy friend
recently asked me if I thought kissing was a behavior
that a person could learn to do better. I don’t exactly
believe the old adage that practice makes perfect but I
definitely believe that the more you do something, the
better you get.
For me kissing is one of the best
joys in life. I love the taste, smell,
and feel of a kiss. I have been
known to say that lip-locking is the
gateway sex and the sure fire
indicator of sexual compatibility.
My husband and I have been
kissing for nineteen years now and
it’s a dance that still leaves me
lightheaded and very much turned
on.
I, for one, think kissing should
happen often and not only as a start
of sexual activity. Like hugging
and cuddling, it shoots us full of
lovely bonding chemicals and
keeps couples close and more
connected.
Portraying kissing in my novels is
something that I strive to describe
thoroughly and accurately without
redundancy. It’s not always an
easy task, but that’s the job of a
good writer.
So is the kiss a teacha ble behavior
or is it like two puzzle pieces that
either fit together or don’t. Can our
kissing evolve with enough
practice? And who will judge?
Maybe there is a perfect kisser out
there for everyone.
Two kissers from my past stand
out to me because of their not so
great technique in my estimation.
One guy used his tongue like a
spear, making it very pointy and
swirled his tongue around and
around in my mouth. We dated
very briefly. The second guy
thought his tongue a sword and
like to duel without lip-locking.
Both styles fell into the realm of
turn offs for me. Could I have
coached them to kiss more to my
preferences? Maybe, but how do
you coach a kiss? What do you say
to a “bad” kisser?
My husband feels that kissing is
innate, a talent. According to him,
great kissing is the ability to share
a kiss with a woman that
encourages her to weaken at the
knees and causes her to pause to
catch her breath.
What do you think? Do you think
kissing is a talent or something that
can be learned and cultivated?
Have you been bold enough to tell
your lovers how you prefer your
kiss? Please share with us.
Warm hugs,
Blakely
Shattering genre stereotypes and taking a risk
KISSES, CARESSES,
WHISPERS IN THE NIGHT
One of the most annoying things I
hear as a romance writer is that all
of our stories are “cookie cutter”. I
disagree! Many of the stories I
write and read from my favorite
romantic suspense authors are far
from ordinary or formula. Yes, we
in the romance genre love a happy
ending…but who doesn’t? Yet, as
much as I resist the idea of a
“formula” or a “standard rule”, I
knew I was taking a risk with
‘Reckless Endangerment’ (as an
example) by writing about PTSD,
human sex trafficking, and by
having my hero be a partially
paralyzed US marine married to a
reckless reporter who can’t avoid
danger.
Why write a story like this, with all
of its emotional drama paired with
real world dangers ripped from the
headlines? Why write about a hero
who’s partially paralyzed…will the
public accept him in the role of
romantic leading man? Well, let