ASEBL Journal Volume 10, Number 1 | Page 17

ASEBL Journal – Volume 10 Issue 1, January 2014 oversensitivity to several things.23 He becomes too conscious of outside influences on his actions, which leads him to doubt his ability to act as an independent agent. This in turn makes him doubt free will and consequently makes him that much more desperate to prove that he has free will, even if it means acting opposite to his own best interests. He is also all too cognizant of the ideals of love and beauty put forth by art and literature and how far short he falls of them. The doubt impedes him from doing anything at all while the ideals drive him to increasingly desperate acts in an attempt to gain the love and respect of his fellow man. The purest example of this dilemma is the Underground Man’s description of the toothache. For a man afflicted with hyper-consciousness there is (in a time before the advent of modern dentistry and anesthesia) nothing that can be done about a toothache and nobody to blame for it. It is simply a result of the mechanistic laws of nature. The only thing one can do (according to the narrator) is moan, and in so doing inflict some share of one’s own pain on other people. This solves both conundrums in that it is an act of free will (even if, or even because of the fact that it is, an irrational act) and it establishes some relationship with other people, even if the relationship is sadistic. It is a spiteful act of a spiteful person, but it is what is left to him because of his hyperconsciousness. Part II of the novel is the practice of the theory of Part I. It also shows, if obliquely, a way out of his vicious circle, even if he doesn’t take it. Succumbing to his periodic need for substantive human companionship, he goes to see an old school friend (who barely tolerates him). While there he invites himself along to a farewell party for Zverkov, another classmate. The Underground Man cannot stand Zverkov, but he is too self conscious to renege. His classmates drink and discuss everything from art to Zverkov’s future amorous exploits. All the Underground Man can do is pace back and forth in an attempt to gain some form of recognition. I had the forbearance to pace like that, right in front of them, from eight o’clock until eleven, in the very same place, from the table to the stove and from the stove back to the table [. . .] my head was spinning from all those turns; there were moments when it seemed that I was delirious. During those three hours I broke out in a sweat three times and then dried out [. . .] It was impossible to humiliate myself more shamelessly or more willingly, and I fully understood that, fully; nevertheless, I continued to pace from the table to the stove and back again.24 The Underground Man, as with the toothache, makes others take notice of him by means of his own pain. It may be excruciating for him, but others have no choice but to acknowledge his existence, even if that acknowledgement takes the form of intentionally ignoring him. It is the best he can hope for. It is also through telling such painful stories that he can force himself into the consciousness of his readers, the “gentlemen” that he continually addresses. But we must remember that we the readers are also among these “gentlemen” and we experience some of this anxiety in reading as well. Just as his “enemies” are forced to deal with him through his self-injury, so the reader must deal viscerally with the Underground Man’s plight because of the anxiety his tale causes. 17