David Astle is crossword setter for The Age
and Sydney Morning Herald, as well as
Wordplay columnist with Spectrum. He is also
an author and book reviewer. His latest book is
Cluetopia, a celebration of the 100th birthday
of the crossword puzzle. David appeared as
“Mr Dictionary” on the SBS game show,
Letters + Numbers . . . and he was partway
responsible for inventing the word
“phubbing”.
The good people at ArtView have asked me
to name my favourite book and damn, I’m going
to say the dictionary. Is that outside the frame?
Oxymoronic but true, as the dictionary went with
Unethical? Unsporting? Stiff cheese. What are
the job. For those art-lovers who may not know, I
those ArtViewers gonna do about it – hang me?
was on a game show for a few years called Letters
and Numbers. The formula was simple. Our host,
Let me be clear. When I say dictionary, I mean
Richard Morecroft, oversaw a set of parlour
the Macquarie Fifth Edition. And not just any
games. In the letter round, contestants were given
Macquarie Fifth Edition, but the big green bastard
a random string, say COHUSETMA, and asked to
I carried like a hostage for two years, my constant
find the longest word they could.
companion between car and studio, from desk to
make-up room.
If a player found MATCH, say, then they stood to
bag five points, a point per letter. Though if their
Yes, OK, if you must know – I slept with it. The
rival pounced on COSTUME, then they’d snare
book kept vigil on my bedside table as I dreamt
seven, and wipe the other’s score. Simple, like I
words by night. People started talking. Eyebrows
said, yet often a flustered contestant would
raised in certain cafes. We even holidayed
exhume stuff that felt vaguely wordish, which
together. Seriously, the Macquarie was my carry-
isn’t a word by the way, and nor is TOMAC, say,
on for Bali. When the customs officer in Denpasar
or THUSE.
asked business or pleasure, I just caressed my
copy and said, “Both.”
How do I know? Well, I’d look them up, in real
time. Flicking the pages with fate in my