I work with what people can relate to. I don’t
impose how one should think about death. I
work with how they think about death. I teach
meditations that reveal to each patient their own
way within. I tell the dying that they have a new
mantra: “This is not my problem.“ I tell them that
now their only job is just to let go, to find as much
peace as they can and just let go. Stop thinking
about worldly things that no longer matter.
As we talk, we realize that perhaps death isn’t the
negative thing we have been conditioned to think
it is. Death brings the beauty of life into sharp
relief. Death empowers us to live consciously
and from the heart. Death brings us together and
inspires conversations that help us put fear aside
as we support each other.
I am so grateful to be of service and receive so
much from students and clients. The complete
mutuality of this work is truly remarkable. I could
never have imagined work where I am giving and
simultaneously fed. I am not here to fix anything,
but rather to hold space with an open heart; to be
a mirror for those I work with, to offer what helps
from my toolbox of knowledge.
I feel if I dropped dead today, I’m ready. There’s
nothing unsaid. There’s nothing undone. Yes, I’m
ready.
48 | ART OF DYING
I feel that my yoga
practice with Ellen is
a practice for dying.
The idea of meeting
your death in as calm
a way as possible. It’s
consciously embracing
death and what is
beyond. Practice for
dying is not allowing
yourself to be overcome
by panic or negative
thought s when you go.
but going elegantly, in
peace. Yoga reminds
you that life is not just
about this physical
body, that your spirit
goes beyond this porous
body. I encourage older
people to take up yoga.
Yoga is not exclusive
to people who have
physical attributes that
allow them to twist
themselves like a pretzel.
Yoga can be what you
personally need.
“
I’ve seen people change over the course of their
dying process. And I’ve seen people hold onto
fearful attitudes until the end. One patient was an
accomplished artist. Her belief was when you die
there’s nothing left– you just go into the ground.
The idea of that terrified her and she fought and
fought to stay alive. I also worked with a judge
who felt he had committed a terrible sin and
converted to Catholicism. Although a priest gave
him final rights, he was afraid he was going to hell.
The artist was afraid she was going to nothing.
Death doesn’t generalize. Every death experience
is different.
A QUOTE
FROM ONDIS,
A PATIENT: