“I was
looking
for people
who were
willing
to let a
stranger,
and more
specifically
an artist,
into their
life at
one of
the most
vulnerable
points
of their
existence.”
CLAUDIA BIÇEN
Thoughts In Passing wasn’t a scientific project where I
represented every experience of what it means to be
dying. I was looking for people who were willing to let
a stranger– and more specifically an artist– into their life
at one of the most vulnerable points of their existence. I
don’t think many people seek that experience. In order
to do that, they need to be very open and accepting–
which is a very small proportion of people in hospice.
The sole purpose of my being there was for them to tell
me about what they were feeling and going through. It
wasn’t therapy. I wasn’t trying to solve their problems. I
wasn’t being paid. I think that made our relationship an
important one. We often dived into deep conversations
that most people don’t have. This built a trust between us
because if they asked me questions about my life, thoughts,
or fears, I shared my views and put my vulnerability
on the line. It certainly wasn’t a one-way process.
All of my subjects were accepting of death except for
one. Osamu ruggedly held on to the belief that he
was not sick. You could tell that this was a very strong
defense mechanism for him. Initially, I said that I would
only work with people who were very open about
the fact that they were dying and accepting of it. It
was easier for me to delve into the issues if they were
willing to talk about it. Having Osamu as a part of the
project was very important because some might have
come away thinking that everybody meets death in a
peaceful and accepting way. That is certainly not the case.
I worked with very ordinary people. Sometimes I would
interview a person week after week. Many interviews were
hours of normal conversation. I spoke with nine people
who had lived their lives in different ways with their own
sets of values and experiences. These were people who
really hadn’t had a huge revelation at the end of their
life; and had not suddenly become enlightened beings.
VOLUME I | 43