taken me a while to realize that the nervousness
I have about change and instability comes from
that place. I think that I've always had an acute
awareness that people you love are going to die.
It still affects how I am with people.
There were strong instances, especially the first
year and a half, when I felt an especially deep
connection with Drew. I was hearing him; I
could feel him around me. There were all kinds
of experiences that had never happened to
me before, not when my parents died, never. I
would hear Drew telling me things when I felt
really, really stuck. It could just be a simple,
"What do I do now?" He would tell me, "Go
eat something." It would be very basic. "Just
take care of yourself, you don't have to solve it
today.” My body would get hot with a specific
kind of heat. A calm would come over me and I
would know Drew was around.
I’ve had several psychics describe the helicopter
crash. They would say, "I'm seeing a rotation
of something." I would confirm, "Yes, that's a
helicopter." You can't make that up. I was already
having my own experiences but to have other
people confirm that for me was even more
incredible. It almost feels like a secret that you're
walking around with. But that’s not true. There's
this other connection that we, most days, don't
know and don't see and don't pay attention to.
There are signs all day long, every day, if you're
looking for them. It wasn't hard figuring out what
those signs are and what our language is. Now I
know where to find him. Now I know when he's
sending me signs.
Death is what we make of it. Time doesn't
heal all wounds, but the choices that we make
with that time can transform our experience