Art of Dying Art of Dying_Volume III_joomag - Page 82
In both the facility and in people's homes, the TV
is constantly on. The Golden Girls and the news
are favorites. I'm thinking to myself, 'You know,
they may only have a few days left here. Is this
really what you feel is the most important thing for
them to be listening to as they end their physical
journey?' Sometimes I'll talk to the family and ask,
"Would it be okay if I played some music?" Once
they’ve seen some of the things that I do and see
the difference in the person, they welcome it. When
I'm alone with them I can do Reiki if they wish. I can
share affirmations. I find that much more appealing
than just asking, "Would you like some juice?”
I try to relax the person. With their permission, I
gently rub the bottom of their feet or their hands
and put them in a mood where they can stop
thinking about all the stuff around them and just
focus on their journey. I tell them that they have
total control, that they can separate from their
physical body when it no longer serves them. That
they can move on. I assure them that they've done
a wonderful job in their life, that they have an
amazing family that loves them, that does not want
them to be in pain.
Several months before my mom died I hung a sign
in her bedroom that just said, “Love." It would be
the last thing she saw when she went to sleep.
I know that “Love” was the last thing she saw
when she went into her final rest. We didn't share
the same religious beliefs, but love is something
everyone can relate to. Simple acts like that can
make a big difference.
It's very important to recognize that people, even
if not aware, hear everything that's going on.
I've talked to several people who have come out
from comas who said they could hear everything.
People don't realize the star of the show is laying
within ear shot and will say "I hope my sister gets
here soon because I've got to be out of here by
four o'clock and it's her turn to take over the shift."
Would you want to hear that when you're dying?
People are on edge and make stupid jokes, not
because they're bad people, but because their
nerves get to them and they're uncomfortable. I
gently guide them out of the room and suggest,
“Can we talk about this out here?”
We should plan how to make the dying as
comfortable as possible in advance, when they're
still communicating. "Where would you like the
bed to be?” Would you like to be in here so you
I’ve found that as
the physical body
declines, the spiritual
82 | ART OF DYING