SOUL
Spokane , Washington
I Choose BY PATRICIA ROBINSON – IN HER OWN WORDS
This time I choose I Choose ! All that is inside of me Uncharted territory of what I am ...
Not what I look like I ’ m supposed to be The silver haired , older lines on her face , hips replaced settling to retire invisible to many ....... woman
No !
I am the painter the writer the dancer the teacher the storyteller the “ Bad Ass Bitch Violinist ” as the young bartender called me ...... He hugged and assured me this was VERY good for his Mother was one
It was the encore at the end of a kick ass musical ride two guitars , a drummer , and my electrified violin in a dark cavernous bar people thirsty for the last drop of everything pushed us past the point of no return instruments merely extensions of our tongues Totally naked souls leaving nothing unsaid
No No pale lady calmly sitting watching the world go by waiting for permission to breathe But a woman with FIRE coming out her fingertips and the top of her head Bursting at the seams for life Wanting every morsel of cake the world has to offer
I apologize no longer This time I choose All that is ME !
Scan the QR code to find out more .
A few years ago I said to myself , “ I only have 35 years to live ! I have to get going !” There are times that you know if you don ’ t listen to your HEART and take the chance you will regret it the rest of your life . I had not listened to my heart in the past and have often played the ‘” what if ” game , always wondering – what if I had stayed in New York to dance – what if ?
So , this time I couldn ’ t take playing it safe and regretting my decision . I started my third life . However , it is a good thing I had no idea what was to come . Staying safe might have coated my heart ( at least for a while ) and kept me from leaping into the unknown . Instead I leapt , and everything I thought I knew changed ! Marriage , business , social relations , physical abilities , and home . It all changed . I floundered for a while . That much freedom comes with a new set of challenges . My violin and the pad of paper with ink and watercolors became my steady comfort . Everything around me was continually changing , but no matter where I was , the pad and colors gave me a home . I could look at the images that flowed from my hands and prove I still was here , that I was going somewhere . I promised myself I would complete a painting every day .
Each place I stayed affected the colors , tone , and rhythm of the painting that appeared . And I traveled a lot ! I traveled up and down the California / Oregon coast , Washington to Idaho , and finally , to my dream ... Paris ! I went to Paris intending 26 days but stayed three months and painted every day . The first painting to the last one felt and looked different from anything I had ever done . I would paint at night and in the morning , look , and be surprised at what had appeared . Sometimes I had to remind myself why I was there – to see , hear , smell , feel everything that was happening around me . This is my job as an artist , absorb everything and then let it all back out . I did 150 paintings while in Paris .
I have found this stage of my life has left me with a hunger for action . I don ’ t want to spend my time watching others do things . I want to play the music , sing the song , paint the picture , and dance the dance !
I paint with bright colors because I want to yell “ Are you awake ? Do you see what is going on around you ? Are you taking in every morsel of cake the world has to offer , or just existing ?” I get irritated with myself when I try to control and make perfect paintings .
The world isn ’ t perfect and that ’ s what makes it so tantalizing to be in . What will you choose ?
86 ART CHOWDER MAGAZINE