Aries Magazine December 2013 / January 2014 Issue | Page 126

VIRGIN DIARIES
DEC 2013 & JAN 2014

Dear Aries,

I left you with my theory
of love. I felt that so
called “LOVE” deserves to be expanded
on. Some people see love
in an easy light. I am not and
never have been a person to
just say the three famous
words. I see and hear people say I love you to people
that they hardly know. I
have had people say it to
me that I have just met.
I am torn when people
do this to me. How can
I love someone that I
have only known for a
day or even a week. Yes,
I might like you and
think you’re great, but
you will not catch me
handing out the words
I love you, to people I
don’t really love. My
way of thinking has
gotten me into weird
and uncomfortable positions. When that person
that I don’t love tells me,
“I love you.” I am faced
with saying something
obnoxious or leaving
them in pure silences. To
avoid this I will mostly go
with saying “you too,” or
“bye.” I leave with hopes
that they are not offended or
hurt. The truth is that I grew
up not saying the phrase. I
never really say it to my parents, grandparents or siblings. I
have actually never said it to my
brother or sister. I have lived my
life feeling that the people that I
do love should automatically know
that I love them without having me
say it. Even when faced to say it
back to the people I love, half the
time I can’t get the words out. This
self-restriction is just helping to
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build the case for my emotional detachment theory.

One relationship that is odd
to me is my cousin’s marriage. When
Alice and I heard the news that she was
getting married we both looked at each
other in awe. We had met her boyfriend
only a couple of months earlier when
they first started dating. We both thought
that she was moving way too fast. How
could they feel comfortable with making that big of a live altering decision so
fast? She is the same age as me, and the
thought of me getting married at that age
makes chills go up and down my spine.
Alice and I could only make it to the
reception due to work. We were greeted
and shown to our seats. Surrounding the
table was my mom, uncle, two of my
cousins, my grandfather and step-grandmother. We enjoyed each other’s company while we ate and carried on conversations. Everyone left the table but;
Alice, my cousin Jocelyn, and I. Jocelyn
pulled in closer and asked, “What do you
think of the groom?” Alice said; “Well,
we have only met him once and didn’t
really like him. He was very stand offish
and rude.” Jocelyn asked, “When did
you meet him.” I replied, “2 and a half
months ago.” Jocelyn shook her head,
“that was her old boyfriend and he is not
the groom. The guy you met only lasted
a couple more days after you met him.
No one in the family liked him. The new
kid is much nicer though it is too early to
tell.” The rest of the table came back and
the conversation of the groom ended.

Soon after Jocelyn had explained
he was not the person I thought he was it
was time for the wedding toasts. Listening to family and friends expressing
their love for the bride and groom was
reassuring that maybe they will have a
successful marriage. Then my thoughts
were soon thrown out the window. The
last toast was the groom’s uncle and his
speech was short and a little less sweat.
“I am happy for you both, though you
were his very first girlfriend I think he
made a wonderful choice.” Shock could
not even explain the thought I was fill-

ing. How can you marry your very
first girlfriend? I decided to try to
look at their love in a different light.
To not only see the happy vibrant
colors but to go into the deep shadows as well. I was then thinking,
what a major leap of trust and faith
to give someone you don’t know.
I applauded them for their success
with their marriage that I first though
was doomed to fail.
I wish I could give my future to
someone I could love and trust in
that way. I want to open myself up
to that type of love, but I will always
have the want of being hurt by a
lover. The hurt from something that
is unforgivable. I am a masochist
in the way of love, but I am not the
only one.

You have people whose
career revolves around their love experiences. One career that is like this
is, musicians. Let’ ?????????????)??????????????????????????9?)??????????????????????????????)??????????????????????????????)Q???????????????????????????)??????? ????????$?????????????????)???????????????????????????)????????????????????????????)????????????($)]???????????????)Q?????????M??????????1????Q????)$???????e??????????()?????????????????????????????1???)????$????????????????????1???)????'?e????????]??????????????)????Q?????????M??????????????)???????$??????????????????)$????????????????????????????)?????????????????????????????)$??????????????????????????????)?????????%????????$?????????)?????????????????????????????)???????????????????????????????????????]??????????????????????????)???????????????????????????)??????e???????????????????)????????????????????????????)??????????????e?????????????)???????????????????????????)????????????]??????????????)????????????????????????)???????????????????????????????)?????????????????????????($)]????????????????????????)M???e??????9??'?e?????5?????U?)??????????????????????????q$?????e?)???????????M??????????????+?a?????????d?%?????????????????t)???????????????????????)??????????????M????$????????()?????????????????????????????)?????????????????????????$)???????????????????????????)??????????????????????????)????????????$????????????????)????????$????????????????)?????????????????M????????)???????????????????????????)?????????????????????M?????)???????????????????????M?????)?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????)?????????????????????M?????)????????????????????????????)???????????????????????????)?????????($)$????????????????$????????)?????????????????$?????????????$?????????????????????)??????????????????$?????)$???????????????????$???)???????????????????????????????????????????????????????)???????????????Q??????????????)????????????????????????)???????????????????????????????)??????????????????????????)???????????)??????????????)???????????????????????????????????????????????????)???????????????????????????)??????????????????????????)????()e???????????$)????5????)@?L??E?????????????????(???????????????????q????t)???????%????????(?????????????????????????)????????????????????????]????)??????????????????????????????)?????((???()I%L((?()???????)8?????((0