Being lways itch! A Head B
W
e all know a head Bitch. Both Corporate and side-stream America is full of them; by Leyla Luanne from office to retail, from big business to small. Whether it is a snaggletooth stained with $.99 cent lipstick, a two foot bouffant ratted with roots and a too tight three piece navy suit popping at the bust line or the picture of perfection slicked into a business causal cat suit; whether it is a boss or a coworker. We all know one: The Office Bitch. She saunters in with all the confidence her snide intentions to single-handedly make your day - and life - miserable affords her and she smirks her ugly, little smile all the while, loving the scent of fear in the air and the glisten of sweat on your knotted brow. There is a sway to her hips or a swagger to her step, a bit of a bounce in the approach. She wants to see you squirm. She thrives on it. She has J U LY 2 0 1 3 / ARIES 33
pinched you under her thumb and she knows just where to apply to pressure. She watches as it builds watches as it collects in the desperation pooling in your hopeless eyes, and there is nothing you can do about it. Or is there? Is it possible that there may be a way to end the tyranny of the Office Bitch? Is it possible to defeat a foe of this magnitude? Is there a way to exorcize the demon? Is there a way to cleanse your soul? And what if it did not come down to the fist clenching, hair-pulling, hold-my-earrings kind of throw down you have spent your lunch hours fantasizing about? What if it were as easy as a few, simple maneuvers? It is. First: Don not let her see you sweat. The scent of fear feed the monster, so starve her out. When you see her walking towards you, do not duck your head into your computer, begging for the anonymity of your cubicle walls. Do not slump your shoulders, in hopes of shrinking so low you are out of her sight line. Do not offer up that awkward, half-smile that says you are one coversheet away from wetting your slacks. Instead, sit up straight. No need to establish dominance, but look the demon in the eye and offer a nod and a good morning, then go about your business as if her presence is not the shadow of evil pulsating over your shoulder. The fire of Hades is breathing down your neck. This will not be enough. She will not be defeated so easily. She may take this as a challenge. She will look for a new angle of attack. And if she cannot destroy you, she will come after your work. So bulk up the turrets and prepare for a siege. She will scrutinize everything from the dots of your i’s and the crossing of your t’s. She will pick apart every element of your hard labor and she will do it publicly. She will try to shame you. She will do it to more than embarrass and deface you. She will do it to become your false champion, your, ‘I was only trying to help’. She will do it to sabotage you. She wants to undermine you. She wants to chop you off at the ankles and surgically remove your confidence, suturing in doubt and uncertainty, hoping for it to fester under the hot, humid lamp of her underhanded good intentions. She wants to misguide you. Take her criticism. Swallow that horse-pill of pr ?FR?B??B??W"6??6V?BF?WfW'?????F?W72???B??6???r7VvvW7F????F?R??FR?bV6??BWfW'???R?BFWf?6R'W&?&?WFR&?V?BF?R6&?FvR6?Rv???&Rf????v??rW???&V6W6R6?R?2w&??r?6?R?2?v?2w&??r?v?WF?W"6?R?2FWf??W2V??Vv?F????r?B?"?W"?VB?2F??f"W?W"?v?&V"F?&V6?v?R?B?6?R?2w&??r???R???r??W"??"???R?fRV&?VB??W"?6R?B??R&RF?R&W7BBv?B??RF??F??B??W"v??'WB&R&W&VBF?FVfV?B??W"v?&?v?F???&RF???W7Bv?&G2?&R&W&VBF?FVfV?B??W"?6?F???v?F?&P??7V?G2?F??2?2?W"??7BFWf??W2???&V6W6R??R&R&6?VB??F?6?&?W"f?v?F??rv?????BvWB??R?WB?b?F??2?2F?R6?&?W"?b&W7V?G2???R?fRF?7&VFRF?V??* ???R??f????b??RF??6?R?2F?R7vVWB?GW&VB?6?gB7??V??vV?F?BG&?VB?W"fW'?&W7BF????B??R??F?R&?v?BF?&V7F??????R&RF?Rv???gV???GF?R??F?B6???v?V?B??B?7FV?F?&V6???"6V?6R??WB?W"?fR?W"???V?B??B?V?2??&RF??W"F????F???r?B?B?2??F???rF???R???B&V???&V6W6R??R&R7G&??vW"F??&?6R?B&????r???R&RG&?fV?'?F?RV?FW'7F?F??rF?B??Rf??VB????W"?v??B??Rv????V&?g&???B???Rv???W'6WfW&R?F??2?2F?R???F??R??Rv???F7FRF?R&?GFW"gFW'F7FR?bFVfVB??B?b??R7V66VVB?V?FW'7F?BF?B6?Rv???F?RF?R7&VF?Bf?"wV?F??r??R?f?"6??v??r??RF?R&?v?B?Bw&??r???2?B?WG2?B?VF??r??RF?v&G27V66W72?G'?7v???rF?B??'6R????b&?FR??6R??&R?vrF?v?F?R?V?????W"F?&?B?6?Rv?G2??RF?G'??6?R?2&VG?f?"?B?F???Bv?fR?W"F?R6F?6f7F????V?FW'7F?BF?B6?R6????&?FRF?RvfR?b??W"7V66W726?f"?&V6W6R6?RF?W2??BV?FW'7F?BF?R&W7V?G2? ?v?V?F?R&?r&?726?2??R??r??RF?B?B?F?P??7?F?v?B?2????W'2??BWfV??b6?RvWG2F?R7&VF?B???r6?R???w26?R?VVG2??R?&V6W6R6?Rv2w&??r?B??R&R&W7V?G2?F??2????6V?6R?W"?'WB?B?V?2??F???r?&V6W6R??R?fR7V66VVFVB?F???B'V"?B???W"f6R?6??R?F????W"f?"?W"??WB??B6??F??VRF?&WfV???F?R&GF?R???v??rF?Rv"v???&vR???*vR?????r??S?F?B????7V6???r7V67V'W2?bF?RF??v?B??W'3?F?RF?V?"?Gv?GF??r?F???v?GFVB?FV????7v?v?F???&6?&??R?BWfV??W72F?V?B?F?B6???V??FVB?B???7B?F?&?R??6?2?b??6V7W&?G?F?B6?F?6wV?6R?W"?v??VVBf?"&?f??B66WF?6Rf?"???6????r&Vf?&RF?R???7FW"VG2?G6V?b??Vf??r&V???BF?R6?W2?B&V???2?bv?Bv2?v?2F?RV?G?6?V???b6?'?&FR6??&W"F?B??7B?W"f??F??r?B?76VBF?R?7B'V?r?*6?F?R?W?BF??RF?BF?R?ff?6R&?F6?v?2??W"v??6??R???B?&?B?W"v??B??&???r?F?RWfW'?v?&B6?R6?2v?F?7&?????r?b7Vv"?B666?&??Rv??Gv????B???rF?B7G&V?wF??WF?7G2vV??W72????&GF?Vf?V?B?6?'?&FR?"?F?W'v?6R?Bv?V????26?B?BF??R???Rv????WF?7BF?R??6???3B"?R0??????RŒ"0???