“Why can’t you be drunk all of the time? Please!”
“You’re like soft, pretty toilet paper. You are like high quality toilet paper. The prettiest toilet paper.”
THINGS THAT COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH
“We should get sunburned and have delirious sex more often.”
“Cheer up! I’m gonna f*ck you later.”
“If I was a girl, I would constantly have my finger in my vag.”
“This is good you’re dumb :)”
“I’m so happy to be with you. Everything else is just gravy.”
“I felt a tremendous distance between myself and everything real.”
J U LY 2 0 1 3 /
C’mon do you really think this, and if you do why do have to say it. We love you, but sometimes we wish that didn’t have to say half of the things that get said. Save it for you buddy, not us!
37
CRAP MY N SAYS MA
“You’re the only person I know who looks like a real-life muppet”
“I wish you were a wizard so you could give me a butt.”
38 A R I E S / J U LY 2 0 1 3
ARIES