Aren't Humans Lucky May | Page 4

60 AWESOME ADVENTURES "Well, what, Sir?“ "Well, what calls, dumb robot?" "I'm sorry, Sir. I thought you were frowning on initiative today. The calls were from Luggoni and Saggermakker, a business whose products are not usually up to our standard, and BiK, the pen people. The former have sent samples. The latter will soon. The samples are on the sample shelf, Sir." "Surely not," said Perlock, feeling quite pleased with the riposte. He looked across to the shelf and a tiny pair of eyes looked back at him. He blinked, but the eyes remained. He shuddered at the malevolence of their glare. They were red and threatening. "Good God, " said Perlock. "What did you say was on the sample shelf?" "Was that question directed at me, Sir, or were you praying?" Perlock swallowed heavily. "You." "It is the Luggoni and Saggermakker Home Help, Sir," the secretary replied , flashing knowledgeably. "But it's looking at me." Perlock was worried. "It is programmed to keep a careful watch for when help is needed then go to the aid of the housewife without being called. It could be a great time-saver if I may be so bold as to comment, Sir." Perlock shook his head in astonishment. Before he could reply, the secretary said, "Sir, though this may sound impertinent, I think you should speak to door. He's sulking." "Forget the door. Make a note to tell Luggoni and ThingyThinger that one primary purpose of a home-help is not to intimidate the housewife." He glanced into the shadows across the room wherein lurked the Home