Aptavani-9
475
Still the ‘I-ness’ remains
Some people think to themselves, ‘Now I do not have
any ‘I-ness’ or ‘my-ness’ in me any more.’ And yet whole
daylong they live in kashaya. One claims he has no ‘I-ness’ and
yet he experiences kashayas. In fact his ‘I-ness’ is the basis of
his existence. His ‘I-ness’ does not go away. It is very difficult
to get rid of.
What does it mean to say that the ‘I-ness’ has gone
away? It means that one does not even have any voice in it. Do
you do according to what others tell you or do you have a
different voice of your own within you?
Questioner: It is separate.
Dadashri: That is the ‘I-ness’ – the potapanu. ‘We’ do
not have any voice of any kind. If someone tells ‘us’, ‘Dada, sit
over there’, ‘we’ will go and sit. ‘We’ would do so even if ‘we’
do not like to.
Questioner: This ‘I-ness’ is also related to the intellect
(buddhi) is it not?
Dadashri: The intellect is the sign of ‘I-ness’. As the
sense of ‘I-ness’ goes down, the proportion of the intellect goes
down too.
Questioner: What is the difference between ‘I-ness’
(potapanu) and ‘my-ness’ (maarapanu)?
Dadashri: My-ness is mamata and I-ness (potapanu) is
a big ego. It is not a nominal ego.
After attaining this Gnan, You have let go of the ‘I’ (hoon)
and ‘my’ (mamata), but You have not let go of potapanu - ‘I-
ness’. There is no doubt that You have become free from ‘I’ and
‘my’. What is the definition of mamata (my-ness)? It is to
worry about something of yours when it has been lost. You do
not experience any worry after something valuable is lost. This