Aptavani-9 Aptavani-9 | Page 505

438 Aptavani-9 ‘plant’ has sprouted since then. This would not occur in the presence of awareness. Everything has occurred because of unawareness (ajagruti). There are truckloads and truckloads of unawareness and not just unawareness related to one or two mistakes. Such intoxication will crop up where there is tremendous ajagruti at a very gross and superficial level; otherwise it would never arise, how can it? Questioner: In this matter, what kind of things should we be aware of? Dadashri: About everything, you must make sure that nothing sprouts. Questioner: So what kinds of things are included in that? Dadashri: Do you mean why does it arise in the first place? The fact that it sprouts is unawareness (ajagruti) itself. The awareness lacks by that much. Why should it arise? Why does awareness arise when kashaya occur? Your awareness surfaces even when the other person is doing kashaya. This intoxication (keyf) of ‘I know’ is more treacherous than kashaya. It is suicidal. It will destroy you. A person will say, ‘I know, but am not able to do anything.’ Intoxication of having knowledge?! In the ignorant ‘Gnan-less’ state, there is always the intoxication of the ego of ‘I know’. But here if intoxication arises after attaining the knowledge of the Self, then how wrong an understanding is that? The intoxication of having Gnan?! Questioner: Dadaji, kashaya occur because of circumstances. When the kashaya arises, so does the awareness against it. It is not something that remains constantly. Whereas this intoxication of ‘I know’ - is it something that is constantly there within? Dadashri: It just keeps growing. You even keep watering it; it is also being watered constantly. There is unawareness (ajagruti) day and night. That is what I call suicidal! Knowing (janyoo) is that when all kinds of intoxications leave.