Aptavani-9 Aptavani-9 | Page 34

5. Pride (maan) : Ego of doer-ship (garva) : Wallowing in worldly pleasures (garavata) The Gnani Purush informs us that gnanavarniya karma i.e. the karma that obstructs the full expression of the knowledge of the Self, goes once mohaniya karma i.e. the karma that causes the illusion, is removed. Speaking about himself, The Gnani Purush asks, ‘What kind of moha (illusion-attachment) did I have prior to enlightenment?’ He says ‘I did not have any moha of any kind. I had no inclination for money or sex. The only thing I did have was pride (maan); great attachment with pride. However, there was no abhimaan which is pride with ‘my-ness (mamata)’. Abhimaan can only exist if there is my- ness (mamata). This was pride without any my-ne ss – this was maan without mamata. If from a young age one has been subjected to only insults, he will have a strong appetite to gain respect. In the same token if one had nothing but respect given to him in childhood, the appetite for respect will not be there later on. When a maani (one with a tuber of pride) gets respect, his tuber of greed (lobh) will decrease. Whereas a lobhi will not let go of his tuber of greed; there will be no decrease in his greed, even when he gets a lot of respect. From the perspective of liberation, simple pride is tolerable, but for one to be constantly using his energies in being preoccupied with, ‘where will I get respect from, how can I get respect and recognition in the eyes of the world?’ is gravely dangerous. Pride can be removed but it is extremely difficult to eradicate the hunger for pride. If people give you respect, you should enjoy it but do not become habituated by it. You should be careful not to become attracted and then attached to the one who gives you respect. In the process of enjoying respect, awareness of the Self 33