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Aptavani-9
‘Amin’ from the six-village of Vakad—rightful demanders of
dowry from the bride’s parents.’ Don’t we also have ‘Desais’
of Vakad? Even they think a fat lot of themselves, too!
Now if someone failed to address me as ‘Ambalal-bhai’,
I would not be able to sleep. I would be restless the whole night.
What was I going to get out of that? Was it going to sweeten
my mouth? How selfish can a man be? Such selfishness has no
taste, yet one assumes it and takes it on due to societal
influence (lokasangnya). People elevated him - Ambalal; they
put him on a pedestal and they believed he was praiseworthy
too. Hey! What are you going to do with what people think
and believe?
Just because the cows and the buffalos look at you and
wag their ears back and forth, does it mean they are looking
upon you with respect or they are admiring you? This is how
everything is. You might think they are watching you with
respect. It is simply in your head. But really everyone is caught
up in his own miseries; everyone is caught up in his own worries.
No one has time for you.
It was all for maan
I had told everyone, ‘Come and get your work done from
me, whatever it may be; whether it is advice, consolation or
whatever else. I will also give you money if I have some. You
do not have to do my work but I will do yours. This way you
will not have any fear or uncertainties from my end because you
do not have to do anything for me. If I am going home after a
late night movie and happen to stop by your house, you might
think, ‘He has never done this before, he must want something
and that is why he is here.’ On the contrary, thinking this way
about me is the same as looking lustfully at a sati (chaste
woman). I do not need anything and when others look at me
negatively and get worried that I may ask them for something;
that was not acceptable. Therefore, I told everyone, ‘These