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Aptavani-9
he replied, ‘But I do not like it without her, what should I do
about that?’ I told him, ‘You do not like being without your wife
now but what if the two of you had met on a train eleven years
ago? You would have shoved past her. You married her ten
years ago but is it possible that even ten days prior to your
marriage, you would have ignored her? Is that possible or not?’
he said, ‘But I did not know her then, did I?’ I told him, ‘Would
you not have insisted that she vacate your reserved seat on the
train had you met her prior to your marriage?’ He asked me
what my point was. I told him that when he sat across from her
under their wedding canopy and looked at her; that was when
he twisted the first knot of ‘my-ness’ with her. The knot of
mamata with her was tied by saying ‘this is my wife’ and she
did the same by saying ‘this is my husband’. I told him, ‘neither
of you had the mamata prior to your wedding day. From the
time you got married, up until now, you have continuously
twisted and tightened the knots of attachment of ‘my, my,
my…’ This created a mental effect; it has created a
psychological effect. You will create a psychological effect
even by saying it just once, whereas this is an effect of ten
years worth.’ He replied, ‘Yes I do agree that a psychological
effect has taken over me. How can I get rid of it now?’ I told
him, ‘Now keep saying, ‘not mine…not mine…not mine…’
and thus unwind the knots exactly the way you had wound
them! This is the only solution.’
In reality there is no bondage. It is merely a psychological
effect that takes place; then when the wife dies leaving three
children behind, the poor man cries. He became happy after I
explained things to him this way. As such there is no relation. It
is all because one believes ‘she is my wife…she is mine…mine’
that the attachment and my-ness (mamata) takes hold. And this
effect will go away simply by saying, ‘she is not mine, not
mine….’ This ‘we’ guarantee you!
Anything that you get attached to by saying ‘my or mine,’