108
Aptavani-9
the night, you get a thought, ‘I forgot to get an official document
for the five lakh rupees I had loaned. What if he does not sign
it tomorrow?’ That is it! Then you become like a living corpse.
Say a man pays you interest of a thousand rupees every
month on a principle of one hundred thousand he has borrowed
from you. This man incurs a loss of two or three hundred
thousand rupees in his business. Even though he sends you
payment of interest this month, knowing that he has sustained a
loss, if you suspect ‘What if he does not pay back the hundred
thousand? What will I do if he does not give me the money?’
Once this suspicion takes hold in your mind, where will it end?
A suspicion has no end, and it kills the one who suspects.
Suspicion will arise at odd times at night, what if he does
not return the money? This suspicion did not arise during the day
time and then it causes you misery when it arises at night. Was
there no misery, during the entire daytime? When you have given
the money, and if suspicion of, ‘will he return it or not?’ arises,
then you will feel the pain, will you not? Why did you have the
suspicion at night and not during the day?
Questioner: What is the reason?
Dadashri: It is our foolishness. If you are going to be
suspicious, then be suspicious constantly. Be suspicious with so
much awareness that you are suspicious from the time you lend
the money.
So if you lend a hundred thousand rupees to someone and
later at some point in time you feel that man is not reliable, even
then you should not let suspicion arise. ‘What is going to happen
now?’ is creating another suspicion. And what do you think is
going to happen? This body is going to go away and so is the
money. Is everything not going to go away eventually? Ultimately
you will have to cry. Ultimately, it will all burn in a pyre, will it
not? So then why are you killing yourself prematurely? Why not
live peacefully?