Aptavani-4 Aptavani-4 | Page 25

a lack of determination. Determination (nischay) breaks down the obstacles (antaray). Once the ultimate determination (nischay), ‘I am the Self’ is attained, all obstacles come to an end. Obstacles that arise because of the worldly intellect are like knots. And obstacles that arise from the intelligence of religion are like big complex knots because; they make one wander around for infinite lives. The belief or sense of, “I know something” is the biggest obstacle in the path to the Self. It is evident that nothing is known where there is artadhyan (adverse internal meditation that hurts the self) or raudradhyan (adverse internal meditation that hurts the self and others). The biggest obstacle is one which impedes one’s attainment of the knowledge of the Self (Gnanantaray). It is one’s inner sense that says, “In matters of spirituality and Soul, I am the only one who understands, and everyone else does not understand anything at all.” Another obstacle is to interfere in the process whereby someone’s attainment of Self-knowledge is hindered. Or even if after meeting a true ‘Gnani’ one thinks, “I have seen many such ‘Gnanis’.” All of these sow the seeds of obstacles to the knowledge of the Self (Gnanantaray). However, even, if a person were to feel, “A ‘Gnani’ is close by, but I am unable to go and see him!” it would break down the obstacles. “How can there be moksha within just one hour?” Once this is vocalized or felt, there will be an obstacle to one’s own moksha! This universe is such that it cannot be measured by one’s intellect. Obstacles to one’s skill are created with, “I don’t know how to do it.” And with a firm, “Why can’t I know how to do this?” the obstacles (antaray) will break down. 24