Open Yourself Up to Happiness
by Laura Solomon
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over
and expecting different results. So why do men and women
keep dating the same “type” of person even though it’s not
working or sabotaging their own success by creating unattainable
criteria? Why do people have a self-defeating checklist?
Some singles have lists that are far too judgmental, limiting,
and even bordering superficial. By only dating someone
who is “this tall” or “this age” or in “this profession” or who
lives in “this area,” they are missing out the possibility that
opposites attract. I’m not saying to dive into dysfunction or run
toward red flags in hope of finding that opposite type, but it’s
smart to develop a relationship and not search for the elusive
soulmate. The more time you spend together as friends, the
more these qualities start to come out—so give it time and
give up chemistry. Make your own chemistry.
One of my friends explained her relationship like this, “My
spouse and I are polar opposites and so were our families and
backgrounds. He was a jock and I didn’t want a jock. He hates to
read and I was an English major. Twenty years later, we still have
very little in common. He was not what I was looking for, for sure,
but obviously he was something I didn’t know I needed.”
Another friend of mine said that her huge, red headed,
tobacco chewing husband was not her type at all. “He’s quiet
and she’s ‘a loudmouth that loves to cuss.’ Thirteen years later,
he makes her feel like a queen.
Then there’s me and my perfect husband. Jeff is highly
educated, quiet, and serious.