April Magazine 2016 | Page 32

ONLINE DOES NOT EQUAL THE WHOLE PICTURE We are fortunate to live in a time when we can stay connected to our loved ones from anywhere, run a business completely online, and form new relationships with people on the other side of the world. The problem is that online communication has also created a new disconnect from real life. Here’s an example: A few years ago, a boyfriend of mine was going through a major rough patch and would spend hours scrolling through his Facebook feed, looking at pictures from other people’s summer vacations, baby pictures, or posts about accomplishments. He’d say, “See, everyone is out exploring the world and doing important things. What am I doing with my life?” All of his time on Facebook was spent viewing the lives of his friends—and even people he barely knew—through the lens of envy and jealousy. 32 | Eydis Magazine But here’s the thing: social media is not reality. Everyone expresses the best parts of their lives online, when in fact we all have plenty of not-sohappy times—they are just not shareworthy like the birth of a baby, a graduation, or a family outing. The dark side of seeing others’ positives online is that we lose some sense of actuality. Our problems seem like the only problems because everyone is unconsciously playing into the illusion that our social media profiles are real life, and that is simply not the case. No one is happy all the time, but that’s the beauty of life with its multitude of ups and downs. This must be remembered and embraced. If you find yourself comparing or feeling envious of happy things other people post online, remember that it isn’t the whole picture. Then, make an effort to feel joy for that person and wish them well in the rest of their day. Trust me, I know it’s not always an easy action to take, especially when you feel envious of what they have, but making an effort is what matters. We don’t know how many of those new moms are dealing with postpartum depression. We don’t know what types of issues a family might be struggling with as they Instagram that smiling picture. We don’t see the depression that businesswoman struggles with while building her success. People don’t know that I’ve posted goofy pictures with my dog moments before I had a nervous breakdown. ENGAGE WITH A PURPOSE Use your social media time to create posts that mean something to you or to engage with those you care about. If you’re scrolling through the newsfeed without much of a purpose, it makes you vulnerable to a feeling of disconnection. So connect with other people who share your interests, join a group or two, and get involved with discussions. I have made some amazing business and personal connections online just by searching for groups who share my passions. You can even find private support groups on Facebook that provide a safe place to speak with others who understand your struggles. This allows you to use Facebook as a tool for making a difference, getting inspired, and feeling a part of something bigger than yourself. TAKE A BREAK WHEN YOU NEED IT This doesn’t have to be a full-on Facebook cleanse (although that can be beneficial as well). What I mean is take daily breaks to checkin with yourself. Do you check social media when you are feeling sad? When you’re avoiding something? I find myself starting to scroll aimlessly when I’m working on a challenging work project or feeling anxious. This is when social media is used as a tool for distraction or fulfillment without a purpose, which isn’t serving yourself. If this happens to you, take a moment to step back from the computer screen and engage in some offline self-love: • Spend a few minutes meditating. Breathe deeply and focus on your breath or a positive mantra for your day. • • • Grab your journal, or just a piece of paper, and spend at least five minutes writing about how you feel. Then spend at least five more minutes writing about what is important to you. If it helps, listen to music that inspires you. Go for a short walk. Pay attention to the different colors, shapes, and sounds that nature is sending you. And let yourself be thankful for them. If you’re feeling lonely, go somewhere with people. This could mean grabbing coffee with a friend or simply being out around other humans. Remember that whatever you’re going through, there are other people in the world experiencing the same struggles. There is no magic pill for making your problems immediately disappear, and Facebook is no exception. But just as mindfulness and gratitude can help you manifest your path to peace, using social media can be a joyful experience when it’s used with positive intentions and appreciation. Lauren provides freelance writing and editing services for health and wellness warriors at LaurenEStewart. com. She is also a plant-based blogger and healthy dessert ebook author at Veggie in a Jiffy. She loves connecting with other passionate people, hanging with her pets (two dogs and a cat), and enjoying a nice cup of coffee. eydismedia.com 33