iehard fans, experienced motorists
players.”
And that means knowing when to be jovial and when to shut up; with whom you can be
chatty and to whom you’re strictly a chauffeur.
“It’s just down to my winning personality,” said James, after completing the
course in 1:02. He also swore that he has never gotten a speeding ticket.
“And who doesn’t want their driver to be named James?” he asked.
(The Nationals asked participants to disclose only their first names
and hometowns. Team officials said they wanted whoever was cho-
sen for the role to be a mostly anonymous figure, like the people
inside the racing presidents costumes.)
Ted sent in a minute-long video with his application that includ-
ed photos of him and his wife at Nationals events, such as the
All-Star Game, a stadium tour, and spring training.
“Anything to prove I’m a fan,” he said. He has already pur-
chased a Kurt Suzuki batting practice jersey. He boasted that
he once rode his motorcycle cross-country, so he is more than
capable of handling anything the bullpen cart might encoun-
ter on its trip around the warning track.
Ann asserted her years of ferrying her now-grown children to
and from sporting events and friends’ houses across Northern
Virginia uniquely qualified her for the role. She was the second
applicant to try the course and spent much of the morning advis-
ing drivers who came after.
“That one turn over there is a killer,” she said, pointing to the top left
curl of the curly W. “Once I got through that last turn, I put the pedal
to the metal.”
The team is set to announce its new hire by the end of the week. Washing-
ton’s pitchers will not have any input on the selection, to the chagrin of Doolit-
tle, who said earlier this month a couple of test drives with pitchers on board might
be warranted.
“If they’re going to be driving me and my friends around, I would like to at least have some input,” he
said. “At least when you call for a Lyft or an Uber you get the rating and stuff like that.”
For this group, Davis and President Roosevelt have thorough notes. Now they have to decide who
gets five stars.
APRIL 2019
41