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EXTRA SECOND DISCOVERED IN 2015!
LONDON – The IERSh have
figured out how to extend
life on earth. It was announced yesterday that famous IERSh (International
Earth Rotation Service)
scientists, working out of
a German laboratory, have
managed to create extra
time.
By Wessel Stoltz
ery few years to which an
extra second is added.
Scheduled for the mid
way point of the year at
23:59:59, clocks will instead of ticking over to the
start of a new day, flash
twice on the fifty-ninth
second or tick over to sixty
“We have, for far too long, before the new day starts
grabbed a hold of the short at 00:00:00.
end of the stick when it
comes to extra time” said
Sports Ministers across the
a whimsical Nuclear Physglobe are outraged as they
icist, Ernest Walton, one
describe this extra time “a
of the men responsible for
clever ploy by the IERSh”
humankind’s
newfound
to give sports teams who
longevity.
have previously lost in the
final seconds, time to get
On June 30 2015 we will their own back.
have 86 401 seconds instead of the standard 86
On the other hand, coaches
400. It is reported that this
of the national Irish Foot“leap” second has to be
ball and Rugby teams have
added to make sure “the
expressed their gratitude
man made atomic clocks,
and said at press conferwhich are now accurate
ences that they intend on
up to the infinitesimal
using the extra second to
quadrillionth of a second,
take full advantage “when
stay in sync with nature,
handling France and New
because nature is on a goZealand” in the respective
slow”. Each day the earth’s
sport codes.
rotation slows down by
two thousands of a second
Fixtures have already been
and as such, clever peoplanned for the day.
ple with white jackets and
clip-boards pick a day ev-
Everything a
couch should be
x
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THE CROSS WORD
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BEAUTY
EXCLUSIVE
London Diary
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Designer Award
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Football fanatics
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“The
best every-
day example of
relativity, the
finest symptom
of human intelligence, is humour” Philippe
Starck
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