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P3 BEAUTY
RIGHT UP HER ALLEY
By Wessel Stoltz
London – The state of Britain’s roads
are at their worst since Shambles in
York was paved back in 1086.
This shocking statistic was made
public on Monday at the BDSM
conference held in the capital after
the seventh pile-up in a fortnight
compelled the organisation to call a
meeting.
The spokesperson of British Drivers’
Safety Management, Mr. Grey said he
counted 50 shades of different grey
when driving down the A65 near
Giggleswick.
“Our studies show that if you
combined all the holes on our roads,
you’d be left with a crater 295 square
miles big. That’s a hole twice the size
of the Isle of Wight’s.”
Another activist and keen BDSMer,
Ms. Steele, took to the roads and got
into the biggest hole in her
alley, documenting her shenanigans
on social media. The image of her
MR. GREY IS WAITING FOR YOU
having a bath in a rain-filled pothole
went viral and even attracted some
celebrity attention.
The makers of a box-office hit erotic
film, who are said to have palmed in
$500 million in ticket sales, felt such
an affinity to Ms. Steele’s plight, they
pledged to fill all the holes on UK
roads from their proceeds.
“All roads should be as flat as the
book we adopted our movie from.”
said one of the film’s directors.
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