3 BEAUTY
2 POLITICS
Partly Political
furniture:
By Richard Williams
Each of the party leaders aspire to become a long Labour: Economy Shelving could be the
term part of the political furniture in this country.
opposition’s tagline
for them. Perhaps
We decided to create our very own
Stand-By Coat Racks
“acoustic panel” of items, for a highly accurate rep– complemented by
resentative poll of how the parties look
Stand-By Hanging
before the general election.
Bar (which could,
after all, come in
It’s very likely that our range of
handy) might be
co-working furniture could be relevant here too,
fairer?
since the likelihood is that a hung parliament will
lead to another coalition. Roll on another 5 years!
If the Eds succeed,
they can relax on
Labour rebels attack Ed with Celeste
Green Party: Sting – not an ob- Acoustic Wall Panels. Mr Osbourne Millibar Lounge
allegedly threw the Splat Acoustic
vious choice
Armchairs and
initially, but something the Panel...
calculate their time
party will need in its tail if it in office with Ball Clocks.
is to make headway. Plus, it’s
Nordic Swan eco-labelled and Conservatives: Under incredible pressure, they
have faced a Timetable Shift; this item can easily
recyclable.
be folded up and moved aside...
The Soundwave Planter
As part of its Sustainable Platinum rating,
(pictured) allows you to
integrate greenery within your Generation Task Chair requires a Life Cycle
open plan office, whilst the Cross Outdoor Table Assessment, a rigorous, independently audited
is also recyclable. Our sustainable furniture range process that evaluates the environmental attributes of a product throughout its total life. Finalshould keep them happy too.
ly, Dave might find his arguably smug pal George
Liberal Democrats: Courage Modular Sofa is
hiding under the Jobs Easy Desks (pictured
balanced and can fit into any combination asked of below) come May 7th...
it, which is great if you can’t decide on a right or left
hand corner sofa.
Balance Height Adjustable Bench Desk
(pictured with upstanding Nick below) is an excellent choice for working at just the right level
– high, low, or right in the middle... and to finish SNP: The stoic Scots could make the most of
off we have Liberty Side Chairs and Liberty Office Unite SE Bench Desk,
Chair, though we can’t quite decide between them. which, one should note,
is made in the United
Kingdom. They’ll either
be waiting anxiously
on the Question Mark
Armchair, with its 360°
swivel, for the votes to
be counted, or more
likely think that they are part of the Plentybord
System.
BRINGING THE PEACE
AND QUIET OF THE
OUTDOORS INSIDE.
UKIP: If they get into power, we’re sure Nige would
be happy to rename the office in honour of BS Filing
Cabinets (pictured below) – British made, they’re
solidly built, reliable, and not going anywhere. It will
help keep their manifesto in place too, whether they
win or not... TriASS Carcase – made by Assmann, is
proudly Germanic like Nigel’s greatest asset... his
wife. A modular office solution, it will help you look
outside the box when it comes to storage. And
finally, we’re absolutely certain that Mr Farage will
deck out his private bar with Happyhour Tables
should something extraordinary happen at the end
of a 4 day week.
ET TU BRUT?
W
THE RISE OF THE ENGLISH
SPARKLING WINE
By Wessel Stoltz
Plaid Cymru: Whether they rise as high as a
dragon with a hot nosebleed, or fail so miserably
they want to hide away in Valley HQ, we’d be
delighted to supply them with our Plaid Screen
Room Dividers.
They can devise their next steps in in the
privacy of Cwtch High Back Sofa (pictured below),
with its acoustic qualities, offering the peace and
quiet of the Welsh countryside (ok, that might be
pushing it!). And they’ll always be able to use the
VisitASS Reception Desks to offer you a warm welcome.
GINKGO WALL PANELS
Well, yes, the English can make brut. And not just hand-make a traditional method brut and brut rosé
any old brut, but one that hold its own against some sparkling wine.
of the world’s most renowned champagnes – a brut
that is produced right in the heart of Kent, England. It didn’t take too long for oenophiles, Michelin-starred restaurants and princes to take notice
Just shy of an hour’s train journey from Charing of Mr Hall’s fruit-driven fizz creations: wine writer
Cross will see you arrive in a village where you can Matthew Jukes described the first vintage of
Herbert Hall as “the finest debut English Sparkling
breathe in the aromas of fresh air and freshly
produced cow dung. An altogether pleasant and Wine I have ever tasted”; Le Gavroche, J Sheekey
smile-inducing smell (but that might just be my and Le Caprice have all add ed HH to their rather
inner farmer’s olfactory prejudice at work…) impressive wine lists and Prince Charles has even
that spells your arrival in the countryside town of invited Nicholas to make a bubbly under his
Highgrove label. High praise indeed for a newly
Marden.
established winemaker.
It is here, just outside the town that Nicholas Hall
decided to plant his vines. The south-facing slopes On a recent trip to the vineyard, Nicholas treated a
of what used to be the 10-acre hops farm his great few of us to a viniculture initiation. Being a
grandfather worked when he first arrived there as a garagiste operation (what we would call a boutique
labourer in 1893, proved to be ideal for viniculture. winery) does, however, not mean that he presses
the grapes in his garage - instead he took us to an
The garagiste-style production of Herbert Hall impressive outbuilding that houses his pride and
yielded its first harvest (organically grown, mind joy: a German-made pneumatic press that’s
you) in 2009 of which Nicholas decided to
responsible for pressing the Chardonnay, Pinot
Noir and Pinot Meunier grapes that fills all 15 000
bottles produced on the farm each year.
Here he explained the terroir (gravel-seamed clay)
and the difference between the straw-coloured brut
and the ever-so-slightly pink brut rosé – both perfect
English summer drinking wines – whilst giving us
the grand tour and showing us his handiwork.
His handiwork? Try
meticulously sticking
on 15 000 labels by
hand and then finishing each bottle off
with a flourish and
your John Hancock.
But that is exactly
what producing
Herbert Hall means
to Nicholas. It’s a
labour of love, and it
shows in the tasting.
the finest
debut
English
Sparkling
Wine I have
ever
tasted” Matthew
Jukes