over with a Spot-Bot just trying to get it out. I did
succeed, but my back ended up screaming in
agony! I wasn’t angry, though. At least that’s what
I deceived myself into believing.
I told myself that getting angry wasn’t productive.
What was I going to do? Yell at the person who
I felt was careless enough not to use a drop
cloth more mindfully? As Christians, we should
display the love of Christ, and tearing a strip off
of someone due to negligence doesn’t rank high
on the love scale. So I held it in- repressed the
anger, really- thinking that I was dealing with it.
But I wasn’t, and my irritability grew.
My inability to deal with stress was surmounting.
Anger and intolerance began to rear their ugly
heads. My children would begin to quarrel with
each other, and it irritated me. I just wanted
silence and alone time. Why were they bugging
me with problems they could solve on their own?
They were old enough!
My anger grew even more when my children and
husband began to leave “little messes” throughout
the house after I just cleaned it. Couldn’t they just
keep things neat! I didn’t have TIME to pick up
after everyone. Couldn’t they see that! I’m not
the maid!
They didn’t know how much it irritated me, and
how much I desperately needed them to help
out. Then again, maybe they did because after
holding in so much unexpressed emotion it began
to eek out of my mouth in subtle ways that I didn’t
even notice at the time. I became impatient and
intolerant of my boys. I became like a sergeant
demanding that they pick up after themselves
(which in and of itself is not a bad thing). It was
the way I asked, and my attitude that was wrong. I
asked out of anger, and my actions revealed that.
Thankfully, my boys love their mom so much they
obliged, however one of my sons decided to rebel
a little and rather defiantly decided not clean up as
per request which only made me feel even more
overwhelmed.
Thankfully, this is where God stepped in. I
heard Him whisper in my ear that there was too
much of me involved in a task that required me
to activate my faith in Him to reach completion.
I wasn’t required to do this on my own strength,
but on His. He wanted me to rely on Him, and to
take a stretch in faith at a time when everything
looked impossible in the natural. How do you put
together a magazine in less than two months with
only five writers? That’s not a magazine, that’s a
newsletter!
I soon realized that there was too much of me, and
asked God for help. After all, it was His idea, and
if it was His idea, then He would help me through
it. I clung to the scripture of “I can do all things in
Him which strengthens me”. A long time ago, my
husband noted in this scripture that it is not “who”
strengthens me, but which. “Who” would imply that
strength comes from God- which it does- but not in
this scripture. “Which”, I believe, implies that we
should deliver our burdens over to the Lord and it
is the activation our faith that makes us stronger.
It is bringing Him into the picture a just believing
that He will take care of everything. It gives us the
peace and strength that we need to go forward
because we know that everything will be o.k. We
just need to trust in Him. By definition, faith is the
substance of things hoped for, the evidence of
things not yet seen.
God did step in once I asked for help and in less
that two days everyt [