Applied Coaching Research Journal Research Journal 5 | Page 38

APPLIED COACHING RESEARCH JOURNAL 2020, Vol. 5
Choosing a coach and choosing a parent/player
"Relationships are built on trust, and open, honest,
communication is key…people will never thank you
for leading them into a ‘false sense of security’."
The authors introduce the continuum of challenge
and support, and the importance of trust within
this. This is equally important for the coach and
parent as it is the player and coach. Based on the
foundations of credibility, reliability and intimacy
for the trio as they build a strong and connected
relationship, the authors highlight no matter how
powerful these three foundations are, they will
crumble if the level of self-orientation is too great
and one party feels that they are being exploited
or manipulated for an individual’s self-interest.
Suggestions for parents and players when looking
for a credible coach include:
• authority
• presence
• lasting impact.
In summary, a coach who has built and
demonstrates a presence and delivers with clarity
and conviction. This builds a feeling of impact in
every interaction and a desire to make a positive
difference in a developmentally appropriate way.
The authors state we need to think long-term in
our relationships and take the time to build and
strengthen them. This can be achieved through
engagement with parents and players and by
creating credibility and presence as a coach.
Constructive alignment
This leads into the second section with a focus on
constructive alignment. The authors share a model
created by Muir et al (2011) that enables the coach,
player and parent to understand how each session
and intervention is aligned to the next. This creates
a sweet spot of development. Using the model,
the team can discuss their aligned thinking within
their journey and see the connections between
long, medium and short-term planning within the
learning activities. Used as a model for planning
and reflections, all three parties can observe and
discuss the nested interactions of session objectives,
coach behaviours, player engagement and practice
structure against the longer-term outcomes and
goals.
"Losing is not my enemy, fear of losing is
my enemy."
Rafael Nadal
38
Feeling…the role of emotion
One of the key messages in chapter four is the
role of emotions. The authors explore beyond the
surface and ask the reader to consider how to
manage and transform emotions rather than just
control them. The chapter highlights that all feelings
have a purpose and, collectively, people need to
devise strategies to harness their usefulness. How
people act and react to negative emotions can have
a significant impact. The lens people look through
as a coach, parent and player influences the impact
these have. A negative emotion can have a positive
outcome; feeling distressed during a game, losing
temper and blaming the match officials can be ‘spun’
into a positive if the emotions are acknowledged,
accepted and then used to build a plan to build
resilience when losing.
The concept of shift through thinking, feeling and
behaving is introduced as an extremely powerful
approach; one that all are able to contribute
towards. Noticing, building and acknowledging
small shifts that collectively accumulate to make
real sustainable change happen. Every small
shift matters and moves us closer to an ideal
performance state. The book includes ideas on
how to reimagine yourself and a situation, create
positive beliefs and manage internal reactions to
challenge to minimise performance disruption.
These ideas are subtly introduced through examples
and tips to enable you to reframe the conversation
and make the change.
The authors suggest: "The most important
conversations you have should be the ones with
yourself."
Whether a coach, curious parent or interested
player, the book challenges your thinking and
approach, and encourages you to consider the
dynamic between the triad to ensure you are hitting
the sweet spot.
Communication, understanding and connection
are in every page of the book. When you’re in the
sweet spot you are working in harmony to create
a supportive network for all. It doesn’t prevent the
rocky road, but it does provide fellow passengers to
support you for the journey.
This is destined to be a well-worn and used book on
my shelf.