Another View Magazine Barrie Spring 2015 | Page 16

My Y Story By Madison Parniak I used to ask myself “Y”... Now I ask, “Y not?” You see, the Y has brought me to this place that when my lack of faith droppedand I was on the verge of suicide with the urge to diethe Y stopped me and gave me this place that I could feel safe. A space where I could be myself and stare life right in the face. Here, I not only embrace my edges, but I let them replace all of these spots in this hole that I had before I became a part of my YMCA. My YMCA is unique. What the Y means to youcould be different from what the Y means to me. To me, its a place I can grow. When I was unaware of my luminescence, the Y believed I could glow. And, even though I didn’t even know that I had a light to shine, they said, “Its alright, for now... You can borrow mine” Even though I may not have deserved it at the time, they showed me how to properly use my eyes when I thought that I was blind... You see, when I was nine, I started smoking cigarettes. By eleven, I had alcohol on my breath and took pills when I felt stressed. By twelve, crack helped me feel things much less. By thirteen, I had cocaine in my chest and by fourteen, I smoked or snorted everything that I had until I had nothing left. So, by fifteen, I bet you can guess that I was truly depressed, sedated. Saying that I was a mess is an understatementso I needed to get clean. I used to say that it was my addictive personality, but I am the only one to blame. I made some bad decisions and these decisions were all the same. To keep myself sane, I drugged up my brain and kept playing this game to deny myself shame, but... 16 I am not ashamed anymore. I have learnt that for me, opportunity is not a job at a store, it is not a window, nor a door. I have never even told the real story before, but for me, its my YMCA. I say, “My YMCA”, but its not mine at all. It belongs to the people. It belongs to the ones who believe that without darkness, there would be no light. It belongs to the ones who cant sleep at night because they’re afraid of their dreams being greater than their realities. The Y belongs to the belief that one smile might spark a thousand lives. The Y belongs to us. It belongs to the ones who believe that everyone has potential and it even belongs to the ones who still don’t know that theirs even exist. I belong to the Y. The Y belongs to Responsibility, to Respect, to Inclusiveness, to Caring, and to Honesty and these values honestly mean to me the recipe to make this world a better place. I feel that this is where I belong and whether I am right or wrong, Ill never forget that when I became a part of the Barrie Y, they helped me to be strong when I didn’t believe that I could be. So there you have it. That is how I feel about the YMCA. My Y story once began and I hope that it never ends. I remember the month of November, year 2013, when my story started with a young girl with a hard shellwho just needed a little help. Now, I am beyond helped. I am breaking through that shell, putting behind myself every moment that I interpreted as hell so I can move on, focus on my health with a dream to create a heaven instead. I plan to use this light to spark the light of others and illuminate the world. I am eighteen now... And I am happier than I ever thought I could be. ■ Madison Parniak Editor & Creative Writer Another View Magazine [email protected] 17