RDI stands for Relationship Development Intervention . Brad and I are still learning about Relationship Development Intervention and how to consistently implement it in our family ’ s life , but I do know what RDI looks like . I see RDI everyday when I look at Carter and see my Angel happy , growing , maturing , successful , and building social relationships without aggression or major frustration . I see Carter having his own thought processes that are appropriate for the situation he is in ; he is not trained in social graces but has been given the ability to think for himself about how to make socially acceptable choices .
A small example of what RDI looks like on a daily ongoing basis would be how Carter is learning to understand and cope with emotions . 12 months ago if a random person was crying or angry , Carter would hit himself , that person or whomever was in reach . Now if a random person is crying or angry he seeks a trusted person and uses gestures to ask " what is wrong ?" or " is everything ok ?". If the person is a friend or family member , Carter will go to them and rub their back and with gestures ask , " what is wrong ?" If the emotion is too much for him to understand or deal with , he will give the sign for finished and want to leave the area . For Carter , gaining understanding of emotions and what to do about it took a lot of time , work and support and is still a work in progress as he is making the connections that something happened to cause the emotion . In the beginning , Carter would react instantly with negative responses to emotions he could not or did not understand so Brad or I would stay physically close to Carter , guiding him with either physical contact or cues through body language . If Carter was banging his head we might put a pillow , a soft surface or our hand between Carter ' s head and what he is banging his head on , and then give him a visual cue by shaking our head no . As time ( a lot of time ) went on Carter would bang his head less and look to us for a cue when someone was crying or upset . When we noticed he was rarely hitting his head and consistently looking to us when someone was upset we began modeling appropriate behavior ; we would step back and watch the person that is crying . When Carter started to follow our cues without head banging and could choose to step back and look at the person that is crying on his own or with little to no cues from us , we started modeling a new behavior . I would ask ( sometimes remembering to use Carters gestures with our words ) Brad if he knew why the person was upset .
When Carter consistently started to come to us or Baylor when someone was upset , we very slowly and cautiously started modeling the next step and we would ask the person what was wrong or if they were ok . Currently asking the person if they are ok can be too much for Carter especially if he starts to ask the person and the person cries more or pulls away from him ; he may swat at them as if to hit them ; so , we supported him where he was and added the option to " flee ”. Flee means he can sign or gesture finish and leave the area the upset person is in . This has taken Carter ( and us as parents ) a lot of time but he has gained a lot of other thinking processes too during this time . Carter still has his moments but they are few and far between and he quickly regains his " self-control " or regulation . I love this approach because as a guide- everyone is taught and allowed to support Carter . Sometimes Carter needs strategies to cope or think as a support and other times he needs a hug or a reassuring pat on the back as support ; but no matter what Carter ' s behavior is , the guides , models , teacher , whatever you want to call them are supportive and are modeling the flexible thinking it takes to learn the relationships and connections that are a part of the world . This approach comes without candy or food rewards and motivation , there is no place for shameful looks or humiliating comments ; a behavior can be overlooked when there is growth in another area but heartless ignoring has no place in this approach .
With the RDI approach everyone is supporting Carter based upon his needs during every stage of learning . I am so relieved that our lives will never go back to that overwhelming feeling of despair because Carter is making connections and rebuilding relationships that are allowing him to gain flexibility in his thinking , and the only way he was able to start doing this was through Dynamic Pathways and the RDI approach .
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