Now , as I note that my Uber driver ’ s name is Yussuf and tuck my six-pointed star beneath my shirt I am Esther ’ s sister I am every Jew who has ever been afraid of being Jewish Now I know that sometimes it is safer to be anonymous to avoid certain places Don ’ t draw attention Don ’ t use Yiddish words too loudly And God Forbid Don ’ t talk about Israel in public !
When Esther reclaims her Jewish identity she reclaims her power Our power She saves herself , her uncle , her people How I long to be that Esther - to feel that Jewishness is powerful once more How I long to shed my shame , the shame that has sat heavy on my chest since the first time I tucked my necklace covered my tattoo took off my kippah shoved certain t-shirts to the back of the closet
How I long to come out of hiding to let my Jewishness out , again to let it breathe to celebrate it in the public square as freely as I do in my home and in my shul Behind walls
How I long to believe that I could save us by shouting my Jewishness for all to hear and see And yet Not yet ( Not now )
Not yet
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