Few years later I moved to London, I discovered the 5 Rhythms and
Movement Medicine.
When I met my teacher Susannah, I immediately
fell in love with her words, heart and presence;
there was something in her that I admired and
strongly resonated with me and I thought
‘I want to be like her…
she has the
strength to speak from her heart.’
Few months after, I enrolled in Initiation, a 10
day workshop in Devon. I was terrified, as I never
went to an event like that by myself. It was a
very intense experience.
I went so much into feeling and connecting to the parts of myself
which I never accessed before, that I could feel an enormous grief and
physical pain, particularly when I was dancing in connection to female
and male ancestors.
I remember saying to an assistant there that I had pain inside, in my cells.
After that workshop, as we sang a lot, I felt I found my voice. I never
studied to sing, I liked having a very raw and primal relationship with my
voice.
I have my grandmother`s voice.
She was a half soprano and never allowed to continue singing (after WWII
artists in little Italy weren’t considered “good” women).
I use my voice also for her, to connect to my ancestors and
to all women behind me who have been muted, and couldn’t use
their creativity.
Few weeks after Initiation a lump started growing on my chest, at the heart
level and few weeks after it had the size of an apple. I was in pain and was
misdiagnosed few times. After going to several doctors, I was diagnosed with a
Non `Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I was 33.
My mum died when she was 34.
I had accessed a deep part of myself that was holding grief and old stories. I
never thought about cancer as an illness or disease: I thought it was a
mechanism of the body to heal, to do its things and to show where my
attention needed to go (on the heart).