ALUNA TEMPLE MAGAZINE Edition No3 'INITIATIONS' | Page 32

‘FATHER & DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP in times of Puberty' Shushann Movsessian ? Author of national bestseller, Puberty Girl 2004 www.shushann.com/ Every father can make a huge difference in his daughter’s life. A father is the first man his daughter knows. With that powerful and potent position of ‘first man’ comes the ability to set the norm of manliness for your daughter. This norm can ultimately be stronger than what anyone else tells her. When we truly listen to our daughters we help reduce the odds that our girls will be caught in a cultural bind that limits her options and behaviour because of her gender. We can fight the effects of this gender limitation/stereotype by never requiring or expecting her to be in her limitation when she’s with you. Fathers influence how their daughter sees herself. With a father’s positive words and support, a daughter can be safe and healthy, and can thrive no matter where life takes her. A girl whose father listens to and respects her will expect her life partner to listen to her and treat her well. Fathering a daughter with love and respect ensures she will choose people and situations that nourish her long after she’s left your house. It’s often difficult to feel connected to your little girl as she grows up but studies have consistently shown that girls who have a good relationship with their fathers have healthier relationships with men, increased self-esteem and sense of self-worth and fewer overall mental health concerns. How can you nurture your relationship with your daughter without either pushing her away or locking her in her room till adolescence is over? By making an effort to stay connected, to nurture your relationship with your daughter and to keep the lines of communication open. So much of the changes girls go through are shared with their mothers and dads can feel excluded. Also puberty and adolescence often coincides with a time when fathers are in the peak of their careers and may be absent and unavailable around the daily routines because of work commitments. Father & Daughter © Amie Lee Fathers generally have as much or more impact as mothers do in the following areas of their daughters' lives: ? ? ? ? achieving academic and career success creating a loving, trusting relationship with a man dealing well with people in authority-especially men expressing anger comfortably and appropriately -especially with men. 32