Mother always warned me.
“Don't go out trusting just any man,” she'd say.
I would nod my head with such vigour strands of hair landed on my face, set free from the casual ponytail I made that morning. But my agreement only lasted until it was time to put on my party dress, one I got at a charity shop for a bargain, and high heels.
There's a bar around every corner and inside every bar a man who is willing to keep me company for the night.
I have issues, they say, daddy issues. Psychologist after psychologist feel I hunger for approval from my father and figure I make up for him being the absent asshole of a man he is by having sex with strangers.
It doesn't matter that daddy doesn't love me, this guy
and the next, oh and that one, clearly do.
It's all bullshit, I say. I'm just horny. Nothing more
to it.
But I should have listened, mother was right.
I've had one night stands with pigs – men that treated me like nothing more than a piece of juicy ass to do with as they please.
Who gives a fuck if I don't want his dick up my ass, he will do what the hell he wants to.
One had his way with me and left me with bruises covering my body, big bruises. The strength with which he held me down on the bed imprinted on my body for the next four weeks.
I was used to it.
What, do you think I expected to meet a stand up guy at a sleazy bar?
I'm not fucking dumb.
Or maybe I am.
You see, there he was, dressed in a pair of dark blue
jeans and a white dress shirt.
He looked out of place. Too clean for the filth that normally hangs out here.
I gave myself a pat on the back – this guy deserves the black lace underwear and fishnets I borrowed from my neighbour and am wearing under this tight red dress.
Now the question was, how do I get the skanks around him to leave. They were all over him – their filthy hands running up and down his chest, leaving dirt tracks on that beautiful white shirt.
I was hit by a cloud of cheap perfume as I walked closer. God, these women have no class.
“Here you are, baby,” I say as I slip through the trash getting closer to the man who from up close looks like a Calvin Klein model.
“I've been looking everywhere. I hope you didn't have to wait too long.”
I glare at the other women as I speak. It's not long before they move on to their next victim and I can't help but shiver at the thought of the disgusting things going on between their legs.
I'm glad I could save this unsuspecting man from plunging into those diseased and more than likely puss infested regions.
I smile at him. And as he smiles back I know it is a done deal – in a few minutes he will be taking me from behind, his hand grabbing at my hair, pulling harder and harder with each thrust.
Yes, the smell of piss will fill my nostrils as he pushes me against the wall where
some drunk, disgusting bastard relieved himself of the 13 beers he had, but I won't complain.
I have needs and they need to be met sooner than later.
Twenty minutes later and we were still sitting at the bar. He's the quiet type, I thought. He was definitely nervous, I could tell.
My hand found its way to his and my thumb moved in tiny circles over his flesh.
I did not get the desired reaction and was about to give up and move on to the mechanic with his dirty nails and crooked teeth when he said, “Let's get out of here”.
His eyes darted around
the room rapidly as he got up and led me out the door.
He pointed to his car and I got in the back.
“No, come sit up front. Let's go for a drive.”
Stupid, stupid woman, I kept thinking, you can't treat this man like the ones you are used to. He has class.
He hesitated a while. I could see sweat forming on his brow as he, I imagine,
contemplated if he should just take me here and now or drive.
The car coughed into motion and soon we were heading up the mountain. I knew of a make out spot not far away and believed it was our destination.
The handsome stranger kept quiet as we drove around the bends and climbed the
mountain. His knuckles were white from the tight grip he had on the steering wheel. Still I
suspected nothing. I've been with men who acted just as strange, if not more, than this
clean and clearly upstanding man.
He took a side road and stopped the car in front of what looked to be a cave – lights
flickering inside.
This puzzled me. Are there other people inside the cave? Maybe a secret party? Or, and
this excited me, maybe this was his make out spot, the place where he took all the girls he
planned on hooking up with. I imagined candles and rugs with scatter cushions to relax on
and support our bodies as we roll around on the floor in each other's arms.
I smiled at the thought and then...
Nothing.
Everything went dark.Of course only after he hit me over the head with something hard and heavy.
Whispers woke me.
“I know she is not what you're used to,” I heard him plead. His voice dripping with fear.
My head was throbbing. I could only open my eyes wide enough to see the shadows
created by the candles dancing in the cave - thousands of candles – drippings of dried wax
covered the wall and new beads were forming every second. If I was not as shit scared as
I was I would have thought it looked romantic.
“She was the best out of the lot. The others were dirty and their breath reeked of smoke,”
the man continued.
I felt something hairy move up and down my leg, stroking it gently. I was frozen with fear
but as it moved up and up and under my dress I shrieked and twisted around to see with
what object they planned on molesting me with. Nothing could prepare me for what I saw –
lying there on my back I looked up at a spider four times the size of a man. Its hairy legs,
four on each side, held up its body above mine and eight beady eyes looked at me with a
look that filled me with terror.
I frantically tried to get out form under it but my every move was countered with a spider
leg blocking my way. How was this even possible? Creatures like this only exist in horror
movies.
Exhaustion got the best of me and all I could do was lie there, shivering.
My breasts rose and fell in time with my ragged breathing. This caught the attention of this
monstrous thing on top of me – all eight eyes darted to look at my ample breasts spilling
from my bra. A drop of saliva slowly rolled down the length of its fang and came to rest on
the sharp end. I closed my eyes as I turned my face to the side, ready for that drop to
come splashing down any second. It did. As it hit my face it ran down into my mouth – a
slimy, salty, disgusting fluid that no matter how many times I swallowed, left a tenacious
reminder behind.
Cracking sounds filled the cave as the spider lowered its front four legs, bringing its face
closer to mine. I felt the heat of its breath on the side of my face and it drove me over the
edge. I started to scream and sob hysterically. My arms and legs were flying through the
air as a last ditch attempt to get this thing off of me. The spider did two things, it pinned
down my arms with the claws on its front legs and simultaneously lifted its hind legs and
rubbed them together. This made the most horrific hissing sound and I knew it was meant
as a warning. I then and there decided this was not the way to my freedom but more likely taking me closer to death. I stopped moving. I will get out of here some other way, I
thought.
Its fangs were moving either side of my head. I had to face it. Show it with my eyes that I
won't go easily. Our eyes met. I pushed the terror I was feeling away and replaced it with a
set determination to get out of this cave. I imagined myself standing over its body, a body
torn to pieces - by me.
A leg came up to stroke the side of my head, I did not flinch. As it moved down over my
breast, I didn't break the stare. All it got from me when the claws of another pair of legs
ripped my dress, exposing my bare breasts with hard dark-pink nipples, was a swallow.
The spider started to fondle my breasts, at first skilfully avoiding nicking the flesh with its
claws but it soon became clear that this was a sadistic beast. When boredom set in, I
imagine, claws pierced my breasts – the entry was through my nipples and I could feel the
sharp ending with a scrape against my rib cage. The pain was excruciating and I lost all
my resolve. The screams that were building in my throat were set free and tears followed
suit. This excited my captor to no end and caused it to twist its claws inside my flesh,
hoping for another bout of screaming. I did not disappoint. The pain was unbearable. I was
about to pass out from shock but not before I realised what was in store for me.
It was dangling from the spider's body – between its back legs. It was sleek and covered in
fluid. A tube of some sorts – small but as the spider continued mutilating my breasts it grew
and grew and ended up being much the same length and width as my fore arm. Fluid ran
down the length of it, a yellowish fluid, and dropped onto my thighs. Then I passed out.
I'm not sure how long I was out for but it was long enough for the blood to dry on my
breasts. I could not see how big the wounds were as the monster who did this to me
covered the holes with web. Why, I don't know. Maybe to keep me alive longer. All I knew
was that internally I was still bleeding. My breasts were blue and swollen. It looked like
they were on the verge of exploding, covering the walls in blood. Any movement of my
upper body made me shriek with pain.
The monstrosity was looking at me from the roof – dangling from a web. As soon as it
realised I was awake a slow descent began, probably to instil more fear. I think maybe it
could smell it. Its eyes were scanning my body over and over again. When it was on top of
me I saw its flaccid penis grow harder. It grew and grew and I'm sure this time it was even
bigger.
Sharp claws pierced through my wrists and pinned me to the floor. I turned my head to seethe ground sucking up the blood flowing from the wounds. If I don't get out of here soon, I
will bleed to death. Little did I know I'd be begging for death in not too long.
The beast, with a tilt of its body, shot webbing on one side of the cave wall and attached it
to my ankle, then did the same on the other side, leaving my legs wide apart. I tried to
close my legs, tried to deny this thing access, but the webbing was too strong. I was left
watching as its huge penis came closer and closer and closer to tearing me apart. I felt the
tip touch me, it was warm and wet. My screams echoed through the cave as the monster
entered me. I remember the sound of tearing flesh as my parts got mutilated by the in and
out movement – faster and faster, harder and harder. My insides were being butchered
and I felt it turning into a mangled mess with every thrust. I couldn't scream any more – I
had no energy or will left. Looking down, everything was covered in blood and thicker
things, things that should be inside me, not outside.
Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse, just as I thought this sadistic abomination had
reached the hight of its evil, a claw stabbed through my tender breast, another went
through my abdomen. Blood streamed out of the wounds and this delighted the creature.
The rhythm grew more frantic, more voracious. A loud shriek filled the room and before I
knew it the spider ripped its claws from my body, freeing me. It hurriedly climbed the web
to the top of the cave. Something was wrong. I could still feel something inside of me.
Squirming. It couldn't be. I looked up. Yes, where the spider once had a penis, a tool used
to violate and mutilate me, it now had a gaping hole with dark, almost black, blood gushing
out.
I willed my arm to move. I willed it to reach between my legs. I got a grip on the pulsating
thing and pulled it out of me. I did not care that parts of me came with, I just wanted it out.
As I held it above me it squirted a yellow, warm fluid onto my face. It took all my strength to
fling the disgusting thing into the cave wall, where it lay pulsating and spilling that repulsive
fluid.
With my eyes on the creature I moved slowly. I wanted to see if I was free to go after it had
its way with me. The spider kept all its eight eyes on me but sat quietly as I moved. I tried
to move faster now, not knowing if it was just playing with me – dangling my freedom in
front of me. I could hardly feel my body, the only way I could move was by dragging myself
forward on my elbows. After what felt like forever I made it to the outside of the cave. The
sun was rising and tears filled my eyes as the sunlight touched my skin. I continued
dragging myself forward. I was weak from all the blood loss and every inch of my body was in excruciating pain but I kept going. It was only when I reached the road that I closed
my eyes.
Since I'm the one who has been telling you my story you know I made it, I am alive. Some
woman on her way to work found me next to the road. She took me to the hospital, they
phoned the police. The police questioned me for hours then went to the cave but found
nothing. Then they questioned me some more. The fact that I was raped and mutilated is a
given, they can see that. The fact that it was done by a huge spider, they can't believe and
that is why I'm now a resident at the town's psychiatric hospital.
But they'll believe me. They'll believe me when my babies are born.
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