LINDSEY BOGGS years of marriage . So I brought him to the conference and we were put up at the Ritz-Carlton for the three-day conference and then left for Carmel , CA . Since I felt I had to capitalize on the recent Gary Vaynerchuk encounter ( real-time , folks ), I ended up working on my entire anniversary trip . Friction escalated greatly and to this day , I cannot look at the fake smiling photos we took in Carmel .
From there , I traveled even more frequently , and from mid-August to late September , I was gone every single week . I hardly knew what my children were working on in school , my husband and I grew further and further apart , and I was only home long enough to do my laundry on the weekends and then head back to the airport early Monday morning . I didn ’ t even make an effort to be present when I was home because it became too exhausting to try . My photos that I put out there were sure fun to look at , though — always had a smile and a witty statement on my Snapchats .
Then , on Tuesday , September 27 , 2016 , my life changed forever . I was in Dallas at a trade show and I got a call saying my sister Melissa had been taken to the hospital for a suspected brain aneurysm . I took a 5 a . m . flight the next day to Washington , DC , and was told upon arrival that there was a 90 percent chance she would die . Ninety percent chance . How could this be ? I just talked to her earlier that day .
It took me three attempts to even enter her hospital room upon arrival . All of the machines , wires , tubes — things I want to erase from my memory — scared me to my core . Once I was able to physically walk in the room , I sat with my parents and Melissa for the next three days and played her favorite music — Pink Floyd — while we waited for her to be matched up to people for organ donation . She was a nurse and it was her dying wish to help others , so we helped her fulfill her wish .
On October 1 at noon , my sister Melissa saved eight people ’ s lives by donating her organs .
What I realized ( and it was probably the most important lesson I learned that year ) during those days of sitting with my braindead sister that surgeons and doctors go home every day and think about the patients that they lost — people that died in their care . In my world , I was obsessing over losing a software contract or a speaking gig . It put everything into perspective for me .
Life spiraled downhill quickly from that point forward . Planning a funeral for my one and only sibling was something I never expected I would have to do at this point in my life — she was only 38 . On top of all of that , I had just started a new and exciting software sales job at Medallia , and me , the Type A overachiever , expected to achieve top-notch performance and to win right out of the gate . I wasn ’ t functioning at full capacity , not even close . I was still traveling a ton , and I missed even more special events at home and became a stranger to my children . My son would cry when I tried to read to him or put him to bed . My husband and I began to question if we were going to be able to sustain the marriage , or what was left of it .
" The problem was that it was all a facade ."
It all became too much , and in early December , I went to a hotel ’ s 22nd floor balcony and called my husband saying I couldn ’ t do life anymore .
On December 14 , I was hospitalized for severe depression and sent to a mental hospital for six days . They took my shoelaces , my hairbrush , my hardcover books , my hoodie sweatshirt , my shampoo , and yes , my coveted iPhone . It was exactly how it ’ s portrayed in the movies , unfortunately .
Not having any access to technology for six days was another one of the biggest blessings and lessons for me this year . I highly recommend everyone reading this to do a technology detox , and often . And not just your phone — all technology .
So , where am I today ? Today , I ’ m in a lot of counseling and working with doctors to find the right combination of medicine to fight depression and get me back to full capacity . I ’ m working to mend and understand personal relationships and continue to remind myself that I don ’ t have people ’ s lives in my hand like a surgeon . I ’ m selling software , not trying to save a person ’ s life . Perspective , people . If you start thinking this way , I promise you ’ ll start evaluating life differently . I know I do .
HERE ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS I ’ VE LEARNED THIS YEAR AFTER LOVE AND LOSS :
• Hug and call your family members often . You never know when it ’ ll be your last time . Sometimes unexpected layovers happen for a reason .
• Work can wait . On your deathbed , you ’ re not going to wish you had spent more time in the office .
• Remember when you lose a deal or a customer cancels a subscription that doctors and surgeons lose patients daily — PERSPECTIVE .
• Sometimes people are put in your life and you don ’ t know why . Be cautious and evaluate if they ’ re a blessing or a lesson . This is something I continue to evaluate .
• Work and value your real-life relationships , not your digital relationships . Your real-life relationships are who shape you as a person , not the digital facade you portray .
• Detox from ALL technology often .
• Be authentic and more vulnerable . Don ’ t just share the good ; share the bad , too .
My experience living with depression and seeing firsthand what goes on in a mental hospital has created a passion and fire in me to do more for the mental health community . Once I recover more , a top focus of mine will be volunteering my time with communities in this arena .
Here ’ s to a healthy 2017 — both mentally and physically — and to a more authentic , vulnerable self .
In 2016 , Lindsey opened up her own consulting business to teach sales organizations social selling practices through Interactive Webinars and Onsite Sales Workshops . In addition , Lindsey provides keynotes for conferences and sales kickoffs throughout the country . lindseyboggs . com
2017 SUMMER 11