FEATURE STORY husband had gotten divorced two years earlier following his affair . However , she reveals in the book that this was actually not the entire cause of the divorce “ because I was doing the DDT dance .” What does that mean exactly ? She was experiencing so much hurt and anger that the couple was living in an abusive , toxic environment — and playing through the Victim , Persecutor , and Rescuer roles over and over . But Sophia goes on to say , “ I don ’ t talk about that much anymore . . . . It ’ s not who I am now , so I rarely tell those old victimhood stories .”
In praising Sophia ’ s new outlook , the TED-mentoring figure in the story explained , “ The way you talk about yourself and your life — your story — has a great deal to do with what shows up in your day-to-day experience . Your thoughts create filters through which you view your life . If you think of yourself as a victim , . . . you find plenty of evidence to support that viewpoint .”
The next stage of the book dives into how to relinquish your victimhood by keying in to your true passions and taking “ baby steps ” toward discovering or rediscovering them . Not that your new journey will be free from disappointment and anxiety , but as a Creator , you will learn how to move forward with your life with courage in the face of fear and anxiety .
By the end of the book , the David character , has learned how to free himself from the victimhood he had experienced following the breakup of his marriage and other misfortunes . Instead , he begins to live his life with renewed purpose , describing the change he felt this way : “ The sunshine felt warmer , the sounds of the shore were filled with meaning . . . and he felt a new sense of hope coursing through him .” He was passionately inspired to share the TED philosophy with all the people in his life .
GETTING STARTED
Anybody can learn how to reframe his or her outlook on life , whether through studying Emerald ’ s book , engaging a therapist or psychologist , or even making the conscious decision to change through sheer willpower . The motivation may be to quit smoking , resurrect a career , fix a broken relationship , or confront other roadblocks that can throw a person into victimhood . One thing to remember , however , is that regardless of the path chosen , this type of transformative change is not easy , and disappointments and setbacks are bound to crop up along the way .
Living life in a positive way opens an individual up to all kinds of new experiences . A brighter outlook can lead you to attract new and unexpected people and opportunities into your life that can unlock a brand new passion or life mission . As this outlook and way of being permeates your lifestyle , you will open yourself up to finding new joys in life and , quite possibly , a brand new purpose for living .
ASKING QUESTIONS
Emerald makes it easy to become familiar with the TED framework of living . In addition to reading his book , The Power of TED , he suggests that newcomers start by assessing their starting point and using that information to determine how they might continue their journey . Here are some questions to get you started :
1 . What kinds of people or situations trigger you to fall into the Victim role ? What emotions arise during those times ?
2 . When you are in the Victim orientation , how do you typically react ?
3 . What attracts you to the idea of adopting a Creator orientation in your life ?
4 . How can you get in the habit of consciously focusing on your own desires on a daily basis ?
5 . How do you remember past passions in your life ? How did they make you feel ? How did you deal with problems that arose ?
For more information about TED , visit www . PowerofTED . com .
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
David Emerald Womeldorff is co-founder of the Bainbridge Leadership Center ( Bainbridge Island , WA ) and author ( as David Emerald ) of The Power of
TED * (* The Empowerment Dynamic ), a best-selling teaching story about Self Leadership . His latest work is on the 3 Vital Questions™ : Applying the
Power of TED * to Work and Life for use in organizations . David is a frequent presenter and facilitator on leadership topics , building collaboration and various applications of the 3 Vital Questions
™ and TED * (* The Empowerment Dynamic ) ™ frameworks drawn from on his 30 years of experience in leadership and organization development .
Witness one person ' s transformation from Victim to Creator in this easyto-read fable ! Meet three remarkable characters : TED *, mysterious teacher of The Empowerment Dynamic ; David , a normal guy grappling with his all-toohuman experience ; and Sophia , TED *' s student who shares what she has learned . It ' s a walk on the beach that will touch and transform every part of your life .
2017 SPRING 19