JESSICA
BENNETT
the best actors star in busts . Don ’ t let failure destroy your confidence .
4 . PSYCH YOURSELF UP
The words you say to yourself can actually change the way you see yourself — boosting confidence during a nerveracking event . So write yourself a sticky note or talk to yourself in the mirror . Tell yourself you are as fan-freaking-tastic as your male coworkers , and forbid yourself from falling back on excuses like luck to explain away your successes .
5 . VISUALIZE SUCCESS
Olympic athletes do it ; so do military officers . Visualize precisely how you ’ ll navigate the situation — successfully — before it happens .
6 . OVERPREPARE FOR THE TASK AT HAND — JUST TO PREEMPT ANY POTENTIAL FEELING OF FRAUDULENCE OR INSECURITY
German Chancellor Angela Merkel has said she does this to overcome her doubts . Managing Director of the IMF Christine Lagarde acknowledges that she overprepares regularly . As Lagarde has explained it , “ When we work on a particular matter , we will work the file inside , outside , sideways , backwards , historically , genetically , and geographically . We want to be completely on top of everything , and we want to understand it all , and we don ’ t want to be fooled by somebody else .”
7 . UNSUBSCRIBE FROM DOUBT
In his book Originals , Adam Grant describes two kinds of doubt : self-doubt — which causes you to freeze up — and idea doubt , which can actually motivate people to work on refining , testing , or experimenting with a good idea . Try to turn self-doubt into idea doubt by telling yourself , it ’ s not that I ’ m crap , it ’ s that the first few drafts of any idea are always crap — and I ’ m just not there yet .
SEVEN FAMOUS IMPOST-HERS
Tina Fey - ‘ The beauty of the imposter syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of , ‘ I ’ m a fraud ! Oh God , they ’ re on to me ! I ’ m a fraud !’”
Sonia Sotomayor - The Supreme Court justice has said that at Princeton , she felt like she was waiting for someone to tap her on the shoulder and say , “ You don ’ t belong !”
Maya Angelou - Yes , her . The prizewinning author once said , after her 11th book , that every time she wrote another one she ’ d think to herself , “ Uhoh , they ’ re going to find out now . I ’ ve run a game on everybody .”
Kirsten Gillibrand - The senator didn ’ t have the confidence to run for office until she ’ d volunteered for other people ’ s campaigns for 10 years . What held her back ? “ Am I good enough ? Am I tough enough ? Am I strong enough ? Am I smart enough ? Am I qualified ?”
Jodie Foster - The actress has said she thought it was a fluke she got into Yale — and that she won an Academy Award . “ I thought everybody would find out , and they ’ d take the Oscar back . They ’ d come to my house , knocking on the door , ‘ Excuse me , we meant to give that to someone else . That was going to Meryl Streep .’”
Meryl Streep - When asked in an interview if she would always act , the woman with the most Oscars in history replied , “ You think , ‘ Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie ?’ I don ’ t know how to act anyway , so why am I doing this ?”
Michelle Obama - As a young woman , the lawyer and former First Lady used to lie awake at night asking herself , “ Am I too loud ? Too much ? Dreaming too big ?” “ Eventually , I just got tired of always worrying what everyone else thought of me . So I decided not to listen .”
RULES OF FEMINIST FIGHT CLUB
Rule No . 1 . You must talk about the Feminist Fight Club
Rule No . 2 . You MUST talk about the Feminist Fight Club
Rule No . 3 . We fight PATRIARCHY , not each other
Rule No . 4 . Membership to the FFC means you ' ve taken an oath to help other women - ALL women
Rule No . 5 . The FFC is inclusive and non-hierarchical . Everyone ' s an equal fighter .
Rule No . 6 . If someone yells stop , goes limp , taps out , the fight is still not over . The fight is not over until we have achieved equality for ALL women .
Rule No . 7 . Whi-i-i-i-i-ch might be a while . So puton your favorite sweats .
Rule No . 8 . No wallflower . Everyone must fight !
Jessica Bennett is an award-winning journalist and critic who writes on gender issues , sexuality , and culture . She is a feature writer and columnist at The New York Times , where you can regularly find her byline in the Sunday style section on topics ranging from feminists joining Greek life to female pot entrepreneurs to the hyperbole of internet speak , which has left her literally dead , like so dead she is six feet under rolling in her grave . Jessica ’ s work has also appeared in Newsweek , Time and Cosmopolitan . She is also a contributing editor at LeanIn . Org , the nonprofit founded by Sheryl Sandberg . feministfightclub . com
24 FALL 2017