JESSICA
BENNETT
the best actors star in busts. Don’ t let failure destroy your confidence.
4. PSYCH YOURSELF UP
The words you say to yourself can actually change the way you see yourself— boosting confidence during a nerveracking event. So write yourself a sticky note or talk to yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself you are as fan-freaking-tastic as your male coworkers, and forbid yourself from falling back on excuses like luck to explain away your successes.
5. VISUALIZE SUCCESS
Olympic athletes do it; so do military officers. Visualize precisely how you’ ll navigate the situation— successfully— before it happens.
6. OVERPREPARE FOR THE TASK AT HAND— JUST TO PREEMPT ANY POTENTIAL FEELING OF FRAUDULENCE OR INSECURITY
German Chancellor Angela Merkel has said she does this to overcome her doubts. Managing Director of the IMF Christine Lagarde acknowledges that she overprepares regularly. As Lagarde has explained it,“ When we work on a particular matter, we will work the file inside, outside, sideways, backwards, historically, genetically, and geographically. We want to be completely on top of everything, and we want to understand it all, and we don’ t want to be fooled by somebody else.”
7. UNSUBSCRIBE FROM DOUBT
In his book Originals, Adam Grant describes two kinds of doubt: self-doubt— which causes you to freeze up— and idea doubt, which can actually motivate people to work on refining, testing, or experimenting with a good idea. Try to turn self-doubt into idea doubt by telling yourself, it’ s not that I’ m crap, it’ s that the first few drafts of any idea are always crap— and I’ m just not there yet.
SEVEN FAMOUS IMPOST-HERS
Tina Fey-‘ The beauty of the imposter syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of,‘ I’ m a fraud! Oh God, they’ re on to me! I’ m a fraud!’”
Sonia Sotomayor- The Supreme Court justice has said that at Princeton, she felt like she was waiting for someone to tap her on the shoulder and say,“ You don’ t belong!”
Maya Angelou- Yes, her. The prizewinning author once said, after her 11th book, that every time she wrote another one she’ d think to herself,“ Uhoh, they’ re going to find out now. I’ ve run a game on everybody.”
Kirsten Gillibrand- The senator didn’ t have the confidence to run for office until she’ d volunteered for other people’ s campaigns for 10 years. What held her back?“ Am I good enough? Am I tough enough? Am I strong enough? Am I smart enough? Am I qualified?”
Jodie Foster- The actress has said she thought it was a fluke she got into Yale— and that she won an Academy Award.“ I thought everybody would find out, and they’ d take the Oscar back. They’ d come to my house, knocking on the door,‘ Excuse me, we meant to give that to someone else. That was going to Meryl Streep.’”
Meryl Streep- When asked in an interview if she would always act, the woman with the most Oscars in history replied,“ You think,‘ Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie?’ I don’ t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”
Michelle Obama- As a young woman, the lawyer and former First Lady used to lie awake at night asking herself,“ Am I too loud? Too much? Dreaming too big?”“ Eventually, I just got tired of always worrying what everyone else thought of me. So I decided not to listen.”
RULES OF FEMINIST FIGHT CLUB
Rule No. 1. You must talk about the Feminist Fight Club
Rule No. 2. You MUST talk about the Feminist Fight Club
Rule No. 3. We fight PATRIARCHY, not each other
Rule No. 4. Membership to the FFC means you ' ve taken an oath to help other women- ALL women
Rule No. 5. The FFC is inclusive and non-hierarchical. Everyone ' s an equal fighter.
Rule No. 6. If someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is still not over. The fight is not over until we have achieved equality for ALL women.
Rule No. 7. Whi-i-i-i-i-ch might be a while. So puton your favorite sweats.
Rule No. 8. No wallflower. Everyone must fight!
Jessica Bennett is an award-winning journalist and critic who writes on gender issues, sexuality, and culture. She is a feature writer and columnist at The New York Times, where you can regularly find her byline in the Sunday style section on topics ranging from feminists joining Greek life to female pot entrepreneurs to the hyperbole of internet speak, which has left her literally dead, like so dead she is six feet under rolling in her grave. Jessica’ s work has also appeared in Newsweek, Time and Cosmopolitan. She is also a contributing editor at LeanIn. Org, the nonprofit founded by Sheryl Sandberg. feministfightclub. com
24 FALL 2017