i just jerked up.
my heart is racing now.
i was falling.
everything was white and blue.
crisp.
but i felt my body going completely backward.
i had nothing to hold on to.
no one was there.
but me.
everything was so clean. so white. and then i fell. and now my heart is racing. i thought i was still dreaming for a second.
shit i probably still am.
quiet my mind please
i think I’m going crazy.
is this a panic attack
quiet my mind please
i need help
help me
no one understands
I’m so alone
When I was a little girl I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. I cried there a lot.
I hated everything about myself.
I thought that I was so weird.
I would try to manipulate my hair and stare at my face until it felt pretty. It never did. If anything I was just another ugly black girl with nothing to offer.
Nothing to do. Nothing to say. Nowhere to go. No one to turn to. Nothing to dream about. No room for growth. No room for happiness.
No room for peace.
Just a body.
i want to go to the beach
feel the ocean
feel something bigger than this
i want to dance