Up From Trauma And Loss : How I Found Myself By Helping Others
I ’ d say I was a pretty good kid . Born and raised in the Pensacola area , I started volunteering when I was 16 : first at a local soup kitchen , then a local retirement home , visiting Alzheimer ’ s patients . I was on the prayer team at my local church . At 17 , I was awarded a youth core values award from the Rotary Club .
Not exactly the kind of young man that was heading to jail .
I joined the Marine Corps in 1999 but continued my volunteering . First at Cherry Point , North Carolina , my first duty station , and after September 11 , for protecting the base against an oncoming car bomb attack . In 2005 , stationed with Combat Logistics Battalion at Camp Lejeune , NC , I received numerous prestigious awards for volunteering . THEN CAME IRAQ
A mortar round hit our compound in Iraq on July 4 , 2007 . I suffered a traumatic brain injury and a spinal injury . But I had no idea how bad I was hit . I even deployed again to Iraq , re-enlisting . All the while , I was covering up my trauma , although I was secretly going to therapy and was on meds .
Back from combat physically but emotionally at war with myself and maybe with others , I found myself stationed in New River , North Carolina , where my life went on to fall apart . I openly asked for help at this point – but instantly was medically retired . Bang . After 16 years as a Marine , I was dealing with a TBI and PTSD – with no way to see a doctor or get meds for 4 months . Terminal leave in Pensacola left me unable to get help from the VA , because I was still considered active duty , assigned to Camp Lejeune . CEASING TO BE ME
I ’ d gone from a staff sergeant in charge of 180 Marines , to doing a “ full 180 .” I was home , but emotionally still in Iraq . My beautiful daughters were close , but their father was MIA . My marriage was a combat zone , and I was arrested , finding myself before a judge for the first time in my life . The domestic violence charges were dropped as false , yet I was told in court that I was “ a monster and did not belong on the streets .” Six days in jail , and an ankle
ALL IN 4AHERO
By SSgt Timothy Chandler , USMC ( Ret )
bracelet when I left . I felt like I ‘ d been betrayed by the very people I ’ d served my whole life .
Feeling the end was in sight , I decided to write . I wrote to my daughter Kensley , to my daughter Daisy , and a letter to the judge who had sentenced me . Then I wrote a poem called “ Fight for Me ,” which eventually became a song .
Around this time , I apparently failed at suicide . All I can say is , “ Thank the Lord !” I went on to attend the Vet Center in Pensacola for PTSD therapy for four years . Now I was on all kinds of medication , but also attending several Wounded Warrior retreats and in an inpatient PTSD program in Biloxi , MS . I even tried float therapy . Seriously .
I was trying everything and anything . But , as you can see , there was one problem : I was trying to put back together a life that did not exist anymore . That person was gone . FINDING MY BEST SELF ( AGAIN !)
I was involved in Vet Court and it turned out , I had the opportunity to volunteer at
Panhandle Warrior Partnership . After 190 volunteer hours , I was hired and shortly afterward , was promoted . For me to heal and learn to live , and not just survive , I needed a new identity . A new mission , and now I ’ d found it .
Panhandle Warrior Partnership gave me purpose – just as I had as a kid and again as a Marine . I joined the Marine Corps League and I ’ m now a part of that brotherhood again . I ’ ve written two songs with Operation Song and have published a children ’ s book , which is listed in the Library of Congress .
Every year my new wife and I make Easter Baskets and Christmas stockings for kids in need . I volunteer at the Veteran ’ s Homeless “ stand-downs ” in the area , and I preach at local churches as a guest preacher . My new mission , my wife , my faith in God and my beautiful children , gave me renewed purpose .
We all face injustice . Life can be so unfair . But one thing holds true , with service at your core and God in your heart , you will be your best self .
Tim Chandler and his wife , Lora , a teacher and military Veteran , make Christmas stockings ( and Easter baskets in spring !) for underprivileged kids . The couple also " adopts " families to be gifted with Thanksgiving meals and Christmas gifts each year .
Easter Baskets galore ... made for the kids by the devoted Chandlers !