ALL IN 4AHERO
Jimmy Graham vs Jim Beam , Part One By Jeremy Clarke
THIS IS NOT A SUCCESS STORY . YET . This is Part One of a journey . One we all hope and pray will be successful . A story we ’ re going to catalog for AHERO Magazine readers every step of the way .
The journey is that of our friend and comrade , Jimmy Graham . Former United States Navy ( 10 years ) and Baltimore Police Department ( 20 years ). The upshot of Jimmy ’ s many years in the military and big-city law enforcement during which he experienced a traumatic event , is a life of depression and isolation from his former colleagues , resulting in obesity , ill health and the inability to walk 100 yards without having to stop and rest .
People bounce the acronym PTSD around a lot . But those afflicted , and the family and friends of anyone who suffers from it , are all too aware that it ’ s a slippery customer , unpredictable and cruel .
One thing we do know is how often it can lead too many of our bravest , most dedicated protectors (“ Heroes ,” we call them ) down paths of self-destruction .
The rationale for writing this piece is to attempt to open the kimono on alcohol and drug addiction as part of the aftermath of service to country and community . And to walk you through Jimmy ’ s journey , and that of the folks trying to help him .
We ’ re going to write this openly and honestly . Because it ’ s something that impacts so many of us . We ’ ll share our efforts , mistakes , and ah-ha moments , hoping they will serve to help others . THE PATIENT
Jimmy Graham is a charming guy . A storyteller . An affable , likeable , engaging man , he has a fondness for the ladies , and a certain Mister Jim Beam . And , like many folks cursed with affection for liquor , some of Jimmy ’ s “ stories ” can be , well , tall .
“ How many beers have you had today , Jimmy ?” We ’ d ask him on the phone . It ’ s one of our regular catch-up calls . He is sitting in his garage with his dog , watching TV . It ’ s maybe around noon on a Tuesday . He says , “ Oh , only two .” Only two , huh ? He sounds like he ’ s had a
60 AHERO MAGAZINE SUMMER 2021 bunch . And some interaction with that other Jim .
So we remind him that in a few weeks ’ time , there ’ s an AHERO Warrior Hook-Up in Orange Beach , Ala ., that he ’ s been begging for an invite to . And that the only way AHERO Founder Lee Stuckey would entertain the idea , would be if he was sober . So I hint it might be an idea to start cutting down now . Also that the only thing we ’ ve asked of him is that he not lie to us , so I give him a moment to silently reconsider his count .
He concedes he might have had more than two and apologizes .
Jimmy apologizes a lot . It ’ s a common trait , to apologize profusely and frequently , for an addict . It makes them more likable . Yet it ’ s a ploy . Thing is , Jimmy truly is sorry . What we feel is that he doesn ’ t have will or the strength to stick to his word . Or , more relevantly , the tools to do so THE COMMUNITY
I met with two guys I call the AHERO Brass : retired USMC Maj Lee Stuckey and LtCol Dave Glassman , to talk about Jimmy ’ s situation .
For the last 11 years or so , these two Marines and their amazing cadre of fellow volunteers have been encouraging military Veterans back into life . Seriously . Because for too many of them , any enthusiasm to stick around to suffer every day while holding onto disappearing hope has just about gone dark or dormant . The number “ 22 ” has huge significance to Vets . The number that commit suicide daily . Thing is , it ’ s old . The number could be 30 . Or more .
“ Treatment ” for quality-of-life killers like PTSD , TBI , MST , severe combat wounds and training injuries , is notoriously tough . And I ’ ve come to agree that the only person who can actually help a Vet is another Vet .
“ Hero ” is also a word that gets thrown around a lot . AHERO ’ s view is “ If you wrote the government a blank check with your life , you ’ re a frickin ’ Hero .”
Our military and first-responder men and women are heroes . And that ’ s what Jimmy has been . And maybe , in the future , still can be .
“ Jimmy loves fishing ,” I said to Glassman and Stuckey , knowing the guy pretty much plans his life around any fishing trip he might get to go on . And that he ’ d been bucking for an invite to the upcoming Warrior Hook-Up in Orange Beach .
He ’ d attended at least of couple of them – after being granted an exception to the “ one trip per Vet ” rule the organization has to follow . There are too many Veterans out there also needing the kind of supportive camaraderie and community AHERO offers .
“ Okay ,” Stuckey said , after more discussion about Jimmy attending again .
“ But there will have to be a deal he agrees to ,” Glassman added . THE DEAL
May 2020 : The Wharf at Orange Beach hosts the Warrior Hook-Up . He ’ d have absolutely no alcohol . No Jim for Jimmy . That was the deal . And Jimmy stuck to it .
Glassman and Stuckey , though , decided they should not let things ride once it was over . Sending Jimmy to travel back to Baltimore to re-start his drinking and continue his downward slide seemed the likely outcome of that . So on the final day of the Hook-Up , Jimmy was hauled into a conference room to face the Brass . And with Jimmy ’ s wife on the phone , Stuckey opened fire :
“ I ’ ll be honest , Jimmy . I don ’ t know if I like you .” Pin drop . “ But I know if we let you go back to
Baltimore , you ’ ll be dead within 6 months .” Jimmy looked like he ’ d been shot twice . Stuckey leaned forward , vowed to pay for his rehab . But Jimmy had to decide now if he ’ d participate , and head out there pretty much immediately .
For about thirty seconds , with Lee glaring at him , Jimmy was silent . His long-suffering wife , Leigh , was powerfully silent on the phone , Stuckey ’ s pincer-movement had him cornered . Go / No Go ? “ I ’ ll go ,” he says , tears beginning to stream down his face . “ Thank you , Lee , thank you , man .”