IN SERVICE TO THEIR NATION
No Longer Alone , Survivors Honor & Remember as a Community
By GSSFC Chaplain David “ T-Bone ” Trombly
On March 24th , 1945 , my grandfather , Maj Carleton C . Dutton , U . S Army Air Corps , gave his life in the service of our country while on a mission in China . He and two others died on impact after bailing out of a doomed C-47 transport over rugged , mountainous terrain . My mother , Barbara Dutton Trombly , was only two years old . After receiving word of her husband ’ s death , my grandmother , Agnes , left Randolph Field in Texas and , with little Barbara , moved to New Jersey to be with family .
While my grandmother would eventually remarry a Naval Aviator and my mother had a wonderful stepfather and a younger brother and sister , she never got past the tragic loss of her biological father at only two years old . Her grief and loss impacted her outlook on life and her interactions with others . Even so , Mom never spoke much about her father or her emotions . She had no relationships with others who had first-hand understanding of her experience and could offer comfort . No such support system existed for that .
Just such an organization was established this spring . The Gold Star & Surviving Families CONNECT group ( GSSFC ), a 501 ( c ) ( 3 ) is made up of Gold Star members who have come together to help others who have lost a loved one due to their military service to our nation . GSSFC Gold Star parents , brothers and sisters , spouses , and children , along with their extended “ Surviving Families ,” can grieve , learn to cope , and move forward alongside others who understand their experience of loss . It is a gift that my mother and grandmother did not have in the mid-1940s .
GSSFC is new as an organization . But here in the Pensacola area , the strong relationships resulting from the shared loss of beloved family members and a desire to support one another
24 AHERO MAGAZINE SUMMER 2021 had been growing for several years . Coming together to discuss the struggles and lessons learned in dealing with government agencies has forged a deep appreciation for one another . Their stories are different , yet similar . Hope and peace are found in their conversations and mutual support . Information about resources is relayed about help owed by a grateful nation to the children and spouses of those who fell in its defense .
When the tragedy of such a loss strikes fracturing lives , new Gold Stars are created . GSSFC stands by to listen , encourage and educate those left behind . Navigating the difficult road ahead becomes possible . Though lonely , they are never alone ; at first broken , they are ultimately empowered . WOODY WILLIAMS : A SYMBOL OF ONGOING CONNECTION
Many of the individuals who initiated this group first did so to raise funds for a memorial monument to honor Gold Star Families for their sacrifice . They were buoyed up by the dedication and commitment of the last surviving WW II Medal of Honor recipient , Herschel “ Woody ” Williams , then 96 years old . Woody ’ s foundation was leading the effort to bring such monuments to communities across the country .
Visionary mountain movers themselves , the Gold Star Family committee here was successful . On Veteran ’ s Day in 2020 , the 75th Gold Star Family Memorial Monument was installed at Veterans Memorial Park in Pensacola with Woody present and at attention .
Listening to Woody speak has touched my heart . His interpretation of what a Gold Star Family is extends beyond generations . This inclusive approach made me feel as if I , too , had a home – a community of friends who understands my family ’ s legacy . I no longer feel on the outside as I support these people I respect so much ; I am on the inside with them as the healing continues . BECOMING GSSFC ’ S CHAPLAIN
As chaplain of the Cpl J . R . Spears Det . 066 Marine Corps League , I had been privileged to support fundraising events for the monument and to get to know the families . I had never considered ours to be a Gold Star family , as my grandfather passed away well before my siblings and I were born . Still , I was eager to serve and support this community . I shared our story and listened to theirs . Communicating and empathizing with them , I grew to love each member .
When Gold Star Father Tim Spears recently asked if I would serve as chaplain of newly formed GSSFC , I humbly accepted the great honor . This Memorial Day the group honored my grandfather ’ s sacrifice and the grief my grandmother and mother had suffered in losing him . I was presented with our family ’ s own Honor and Remember Flag , which has my grandfather ’ s name and date of death beautifully embroidered upon it .
The moment was so powerful for me and my family . And as I accepted the flag on behalf of my brother and sister , Carleton Trombly and Brittellen Luciano , and our children , I thought of how Grandad now has 12 great-grandchildren who will “ Honor and Remember '' him always .
To the father and mother who lost a son or daughter recently ; and to the son or daughter who lost their father in Vietnam more than fifty years ago ; and the grandchild who never met his or her grandfather ; and the young wife who lost her husband just a few years ago : We welcome you as Gold Star and Surviving Family members all !