Agile Know-How Magazine • Fall 2017
Coachs’ corner
Strong personalities make up the team
and tend to clash. How can we bring
out the best of our diverging views?
W
hen someone takes the floor more than the others and
influences the course of a meeting, I often notice discomfort
in others, especially when ideas are in opposition. I notice that
the atmosphere becomes slightly heavier and that some people
are quieter. So how can you deal with that? How can you make
it easier to discuss diverging views and be constructive despite
differences?
To better understand these people, here are a few qualifiers that
can apply to those with strong personalities: influential, imposing,
extrovert, affirmative, different, confident, go-getter. They are
usually people who easily stand out and who can be perceived
negatively because they provide resistance that others have
trouble dealing with.
The more disrupting it is, the closer we
must get to it…
Resistance comes from the fact that people defend a position
based on beliefs, preferences, and experiences that bring them
to see things a certain way and to form their own truths. When
someone arrives with a different truth, there is resistance and
diverging views. In order to build on difference, the first step is to
accept that each of these truths is true and that we need to create
space to welcome them.
This is where our facilitating talents come in. The goal is not to
decide, but to help people express what motivates them, what
really interests them with this position. People with strong person-
alities will find it easy to express themselves and to put forth their
arguments. By questioning them on their motivations, their needs,
and what they are really looking for, others will be able to better
understand instead of suffering from the discussion. Thus, we
need to develop our ability to listen to avoid expressing different
opinions in a standoffish tone. Here are two ways to achieve this:
• Naming things allows us to objectify them. People often have
a feeling, an impression, but as long as it has no name, others
Dave Jacques, Agile Coach
have more trouble understanding their emotions, sensations,
and gestures. By naming them, we can bring clarity.
• Reflecting is the ability to repeat something that has just
been said, but in our own words. It’s a simple technique that
requires that people listen. Asking someone who’s taking more
space to think about what others have said can help remove
the impression that this person is not listening.
Creating what could never exist otherwise
These differences are actually the levers that allow us to go where
we would never have been able to go. By sticking with what’s
easy, we deprive ourselves of our imagination and innovation.
We stay in the known, in our comfort zone. For work teams, it’s
artificial harmony, and for businesses, it’s status quo. Growth and
adaptation to change become more and more complex. People
comply and lose their ability to think differently because it’s
disruptive.
As facilitators, we need to build on that difference, these conflic-
ting personalities, in order to skillfully navigate toward innova-
tion. As participants, we need to be able to assert ourselves as we
are, but also to develop our listening skills to welcome different
ideas and see them, not as personal confrontation, but as new
avenues. This allows us to fully express our thoughts and feelings,
knowing that others will do the same.
I suggest you read our blog post on organizing effective meetings:
‘‘Do you know why you are here this morning? 1 ’’ It offers
:
good tips on how to prepare and facilitate meetings to welcome
differences more easily.
You like our coach’s advice? Read Dave’s
blog posts on Agile Know-How
agileknow-how.com/dave/ :
1 http://agileknowhow.com/2016/09/21/do-you-know-why-you-are-here-this-morning/
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