Alzheimer ’ s disease affects one in nine Australians aged over 65 .
Barbara and Bernie have been married for 70 years . Picture : Supplied .
Love letter
Carer of wife with Alzheimer ’ s says he is ‘ grateful ’ for all their time together .
By Elise Hartevelt
Bernie and Barbara Donnelly , aged 91 and 95 , have been married for 70 years , raised four children , and are now the proud grandparents of four .
But three years ago , the couple began to notice that Barbara forgot things more often than before .
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer ’ s , a neurodegenerative disease that slowly breaks down brain cells and connections associated with memory and mental functioning .
Bernie became her full-time carer . Every day , he dresses her in the morning and cooks and cleans the house .
“ While she has poor memory , she ’ ll occasionally surprise me with what she remembers ,” he shared with Aged Care Insite .
“ We are lucky to have been together for so long , we are very close , and she definitely appreciates all that I do .”
Bernie says that despite her memory loss , she ’ s still in good shape and quite active for her age , although this also poses some problems for Bernie in trying to protect her from harm .
“ We have to be careful . All the gates need to be locked , and the front door too ; otherwise , she could go for a wander at any time .”
Because he can ’ t leave Barbara alone at home , she joins him wherever he goes , including to the shops and getting petrol .
“ When we go shopping , I have to make sure she is with me all the time ,” he says .
“ So , that can be very challenging at times .”
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Choice makes people happy in aged care .
Luckily , Bernie doesn ’ t have to do everything by himself . They often receive help from Meals on Wheels , and their children are there to support them too .
On Tuesday and Friday mornings , their daughter Robyn drives Barbara to attend aged care provider ECH ’ s day program in
Walkerville , where she ’ ll stay during the day to join the activities . Bernie says she loves the setup and is always very involved in the games and activities .
“ When Barbara is at the day program , it gives me a chance to do things – I get to go to lunch every second Tuesday with my golf friends ,” he says . Barbara has also stayed four times for a few days at the Care Hotel , a new initiative by ECH that offers short-term respite for carers by taking care of their loved ones in their absence .
“ She loves it there ,” Bernie says . “ And they are a marvellous group of people who look after her very well .”
When she ’ s at home with Bernie , they enjoy watching TV together and working in the garden .
“ I ’ m grateful for all the time we spent together ,” Bernie says .
“ I don ’ t know what the future holds , but we ’ ll cross that bridge when we come to it .” ■
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