His love for my mother was strong and when she passed 8 years ago , he lost his proverbial high-step , and went into a depression . It was hard for me to watch , but even with all his inner emotional and physical pain , he never complained . He was amazing like that . Up until his last days , when I asked him how he ' s breathing , he would reply " I ' m OK " with his flushed face , and gasping for air .
I know his healthcare works called him the man with 9 lives - cause over the two years he was on Hospice , he had some major ups and downs . For me it was an emotional rollercoaster , and I could not understand why God was making him suffer so much .
I guess God ' s plan was to have my Father pass peacefully on Easter . As it turned out , the next day I was going through picture and I found an Easter card . It was the last card my father wrote to my mother - wishing her a Happy Easter . Also the next day a white Dove landed on my windowsill . This bird stared into the house looking at me and my sister . I guess it was his way for him to say to us he is OK and he loved us .
As I woke up this morning , I had His presence hit me , and the Holy Spirit said ..." I am a Jealous God " and rather than just listen and wait upon HIM ... I just got up and went downstairs ... went over to the kettle , threw it on for a coffee and went to just look outside . And I had that rise on me again . I shrugged it off as I had my schedule to keep , have brekkie then rush to put dinner on so my beautiful wife didn ' t have to do as much on Mothers day . I reasoned ... " don ' t have to do anything today , Carol said it all about Mother ' s yesterday "... As the day progressed I still had an immense pressure from Him and Exodus 20:4-6 came to me .
" You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below . You shall not bow down to them or worship them , for I , the Lord your God , am a jealous God , punishing the children for the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me , but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments ."
anticipate the intimacy together ~ to be alone together ~ to be so close they can feel each others heartbeat ~ to find delight in every aspect of each others lives ~ to move together ~ to listen to each others voice ~ to share the burdens of their hearts to each other ~ to share the secrets of their hearts to each other ~ to speak life to each other and look forward , setting goals .
Where is Jesus in your life ? Is the Holy Spirit of the Most High Living God still the one who woo ' s your heart ? Or has another love stepped in ever so slowly ? The Lord is calling us out ... are we allowing Him our time , thoughts and attention ? Or barely acknowledging the One who is shaking you from your slumber and awakening your soul back to your first love .
I met Sibilla Vestali a few years ago , in India . She was a strong and attractive woman with a deep and penetrating gaze . Immediately , a good chemistry started between us , spiced with joy and abandon . She did not say who she was , or had been ; our conversations were light and mostly random and related to the culture and characters of the place we were . It was after a number of walks , swims , meditations , dinners , dancing , and laughter that she told me to be looking for someone to be entrusted with a secret document , a document that had never been revealed to the world so far ; an ancient document that testified to the humanity ' s most intimate soul and of which she was one of the predestined keepers .