His love for my mother was strong and when she passed 8 years ago, he lost his proverbial high-step, and went into a depression. It was hard for me to watch, but even with all his inner emotional and physical pain, he never complained. He was amazing like that. Up until his last days, when I asked him how he ' s breathing, he would reply " I ' m OK " with his flushed face, and gasping for air.
I know his healthcare works called him the man with 9 lives- cause over the two years he was on Hospice, he had some major ups and downs. For me it was an emotional rollercoaster, and I could not understand why God was making him suffer so much.
I guess God ' s plan was to have my Father pass peacefully on Easter. As it turned out, the next day I was going through picture and I found an Easter card. It was the last card my father wrote to my mother- wishing her a Happy Easter. Also the next day a white Dove landed on my windowsill. This bird stared into the house looking at me and my sister. I guess it was his way for him to say to us he is OK and he loved us.
As I woke up this morning, I had His presence hit me, and the Holy Spirit said..." I am a Jealous God " and rather than just listen and wait upon HIM... I just got up and went downstairs... went over to the kettle, threw it on for a coffee and went to just look outside. And I had that rise on me again. I shrugged it off as I had my schedule to keep, have brekkie then rush to put dinner on so my beautiful wife didn ' t have to do as much on Mothers day. I reasoned... " don ' t have to do anything today, Carol said it all about Mother ' s yesterday "... As the day progressed I still had an immense pressure from Him and Exodus 20:4-6 came to me.
" You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments."
anticipate the intimacy together ~ to be alone together ~ to be so close they can feel each others heartbeat ~ to find delight in every aspect of each others lives ~ to move together ~ to listen to each others voice ~ to share the burdens of their hearts to each other ~ to share the secrets of their hearts to each other ~ to speak life to each other and look forward, setting goals.
Where is Jesus in your life? Is the Holy Spirit of the Most High Living God still the one who woo ' s your heart? Or has another love stepped in ever so slowly? The Lord is calling us out... are we allowing Him our time, thoughts and attention? Or barely acknowledging the One who is shaking you from your slumber and awakening your soul back to your first love.
I met Sibilla Vestali a few years ago, in India. She was a strong and attractive woman with a deep and penetrating gaze. Immediately, a good chemistry started between us, spiced with joy and abandon. She did not say who she was, or had been; our conversations were light and mostly random and related to the culture and characters of the place we were. It was after a number of walks, swims, meditations, dinners, dancing, and laughter that she told me to be looking for someone to be entrusted with a secret document, a document that had never been revealed to the world so far; an ancient document that testified to the humanity ' s most intimate soul and of which she was one of the predestined keepers.